This is absolutely the first thing I thought of when I saw a headline with “Sipowicz” in it.

According to India’s National Post 

Both teams have struggled mightily to sell out their stadiums

I mean, if you’re going to host a rally with the Zodiac killer, it’s probably best to limit the crowd, right?

He’s from the fictional country of Santa Prisca, in the Caribbean.

“Not to his face, at least.”

https://deadspin.com/marlins-man-is-everywhere-1704991698

I might consider selling my soul for a rare photograph of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore.

I think it would be better for him to be mute and have no arms and legs, but still be able to see and hear. We can put him on display for people to laugh at. All he could then do is lay there, seeing and hearing people laughing at him and calling him a loser but unable to respond in any meaningful way.

Lots of depth in his game.

I was thinking about going with Dan Schnitzel but Spätzle is definitely funnier.

So now we’re just going to accuse a chair of being racist without any evidence?

That’s a fusilli idea.

If Kevin Lasagna will soon be suiting up for Italy could Dan Bratwurst and Johnny Coq au Vin be next for Germany and France?

What not to do:

Rod Brind’Amour is an NHL head coach and I am officially old as fuck.

I don’t know how to get a screen cap, but I went back and watched this on Hulu - it’s not actually the “child size” one that appears. It’s the “regular” (128 oz.). Fantastic nonetheless.

To that I would say: