Dammit! I had this Birdie and Perkins joke worked out.

No COBRA.

Years ago, for a week or so, I went through a romance novel phase.

I’ve been playing solo. The only thing, based on Youtube videos, that I’m missing is seemingly slightly faster kills.

I’ve been enjoying not needing to grow a mutant third arm needed to play the handheld versions. And not needing a Wiki implanted in my brain to keep track of the minutiae is nice as well.

No! You will get super offended and demand that a time machine be built to kick Irwin Kershner out of the director’s chair!

“I’m just not sure that every story being resolved with various Apple products is all that whimsical.”

John McClane didn’t have a metal foot. This is super original.

I had to give up on fighting games because my old man hands start hurting from all the mashing after a bit. I may pick this one up in the future when it drops to sub-$20.

Each match starts with 3 20 minute cut scenes where unrelated characters do something.

Unlock Truth faster for $4.99.

I can get you a British former boy band member Robbie Williams. I have one in stock.

That pun was im-morel.

Metroid is a pretty cool guy, kills aliens and doesn’t afraid of anything.

The place where middle-brow suburban music lovers and women with $700 rock filled vaginas meet.

What if we do a mashup of Die Hard and that shitty Cuba Gooding movie Men of Honor?

Jumanji needs a Jumanji to come along and knock it out the top spot.

Was the pipe fixing junk that killed that dude sentient and killing him on purpose or did the magnets and shit just give the appearance of being sentient and killing him on purpose?

When it happened, I looked over at the wife and said, “Just image 2 or 4 Cloverfields playing foosball”.

He needs the money for that sweet Sidekicks 4K restoration.