I had the odd VHS tape, Cinemax After Dark and my imagination. Those things kept me pretty busy. I couldn't imagine having unlimited porn on demand.

That is a mock up of the gender swapped Gambit movie from Fox. They saw the success that Sony had with Ghostbusters and green lit it.

Dear Police,

Finally. Lloyd Dobler gets a TV cartoon show.

I checked it out on Jezebel and I'm not sure what I'm doing yet. It isn't looking too good, though.

You out after the Kinja?

Metroid boss?

I think boomers feel smug all the time because they used protesting as a thin excuse to catch the clap in a muddy field.

Yeah, brotha, it's me. Chew this tobacco. It'll make you a goddamned sexual ty-rannosaurus.

Buy both. Maybe extras for Christmas presents.
-Guy from Brand New.

And each turd is judged on how it relates to the article. This will prevent turds that are off-toilet.

Let the Right One In is the prequel. Spoiler: The right one wasn't let in.

I guess a cover of the drum solo from YYZ on Exit Stage Left is a pretty good piece of music for a moment a lady realizes her mother was a terrible person. Good job.

What's that, other Jesus? Burn the heretic? Okay. If you say so.

As I hear it, Jesus said, "I don't like gays and please give to Israel. There is an unseen donation board and when it gets to a certain point, ahem, I'll be bachhhh. That's a thing from the future. It'll be really funny in 1984 or so. Trust me."

The one that gets me is when some asshole gets colon cancer and a person will shout karma got that fucker! I always wonder what nice Aunt Janice, who also got colon cancer, did where karma got her.

Every dead child or cancer or Trump is all part of a grand plan that will get explained someday in Heaven.
The likelihood that the plan makes sense or that you'll appreciate it remained to be seen.

According to people I knew in high school, God is constantly making bad shit happen to you so you'll grow as a person.

Awww. You and the dude on the street who liked your body fell in love.

-My last girlfriend.