I pressed my meat on some girl.

I've been very sad since they cancelled "That Show with the Girl with the Large Bosoms Making Sex Jokes with the less busty Blonde".

Nyet. I meanski NO.

Dear Ms. Chastain,
You are 25-30 years from watching CBS TV shows. Please do not ruin it for us old folks.

When I read about this modern dating stuff I realize that if anything ever happened to my wife I would just die alone because I don't want anymore passwords.

Slow down now. Are you implying that people who like TMZ and take time to comment on TMZ are dumb shits?

Please. Mr. Knight is a classy guy. Toilet Moet and Chandon, please.

What A Terrible Knight for a Curse.

The Italian Job wasn't that bad.

So, no more clip clap?

M-O-O-N that spells Trump is a liar.
-Tom Cullen.

I was in the Lincoln bedroom, right? I had Nancy Reagan's old Weegee board in my hands. I was throwing away that Devil stuff, fellow Christians. Went to church. Tremendous place. Met the Pope. Bit of a jerk. But, good guy you know.
Anyways, the ghost of Lincoln appeared and said, "I slept in this room, you know.…

I was reading a story earlier where a boy scout wrote a letter about how disappointed in the speech he was.
The folks who commented on the story questioned the scout's sexuality and all told anecdotal stories about how they just happened to have kids at the event and their kids and their kid's troop went wild with…

That Trump fellow is a rank bad hat.

Back in the day (the day =my teens and 20s) I would often imagine conversations I had with ladies who weren't real. Now, in my head, they were real enough but I never mentioned them to anyone. I was willing to lie to myself about my desirability but not to others who might be tempted to poke holes in my story.

Well, that's true of every movie.

It's like Kramer vs Kramer meets Taken.

Remember that time that a cell phone company funded a trip to the center of the Earth with Two Face and Punched in Face Neckbreaker?
What was that called again?

I know, right?
-Olivier Megaton

I have the same reaction when some asshole takes 10 minutes at a Redbox to decide that s/he would rather watch Cop and a Half 2 than La La Land when they knew goddamned well they weren't gonna watch any of that Oscar shit.