Here's a thought: maybe your place of work isn't the best forum for your unsolicited mini-manifesto. But hey, what do I know. I'm just the guy who makes 50 photocopies of his dick on his lunch break.

Hyperbole of arts crumbling without funding.

"It's semi-autobiographical."

Shit, now I have to watch the Gangam Style video ANOTHER billion times? Let me call work and let them know what's up.

"There's a sausage in it on page 3."

Baldrick from Black Adder: "I wrote a manifesto."

Ahh, the classic backpedal gambit where you retcon all the batshit things you just said and pretend you were making a reasoned argument in the first place. For example, suddenly public funding for the arts isn't a cash cow for the wealthy, it's "miniscule and unimportant". Which makes perfect sense as to why you're so…

They're onto you! Run, Bing! WOOB WOOB WOOB WOOB!

A pacifist persecuted for his beliefs and yet was the salvation of many? Why else would Mel Gibson be drawn to this subject.

DIPLODOCUS

"Fiddle About" doesn't even rank? BULLSHIT LIST.

On three, name your favorite dinosaur.

When it's your life savings going 100% into a business you barely know about and also being functionally illiterate, it's a lot bigger deal than you'd think. When I think about it now, it's not a stretch to imagine I likely exist due to serendipity.

Yeah, by no means was my earlier post a "Sympathy for the Devil" sort of thing. To me, humanizing bad people gives a sense of perspective towards answering the question of how they became that way. That said, it doesn't mean it excuses his behavior. Humans fuck up, and it doesn't excuse accountability. Not being…

You're still there? Dogg, I keep tellin ya: "What happens in Tijuana, stays in Tijuana" is NOT an actual rule!

My grandfather got into the scrap business in the late 50's. Put down 1500 dollars, had a guy named Fat Joey put in the foundations of a single bay garage. Got lucky, the market popped and made his investment money back in a month. That's an extreme rarity. I've heard countless stories about my grandfather, mostly of…

You had to have used Bing to find that out.

Joe Francis! When did you get out!

By contrast, when I Google "dog ejaculation video" I expect to find Jimmy Kimmel clips and little else. Does that mean you Bing? Don't Bing. It's not a good look.

Ah, the old "I draw the line at tugging off a dog" joke. Classic icebreaker.