Last year's Satanic Clothing Drive was a huge success!

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This was the tipping point?

The "Wrestling fans got tired of 5 years of the PG era and don't want to continue that middle of the road legacy so they gravitated towards the chaos of the Reality period looking for a change which has led us to whatever the hell this currently is now" theory.

I saw the Ruby Ridge one recently, was a fascinating and impartial documentary.

"Also, she died because she's very old and I told her to act her age. Trust me, you'd find that rather funny if I told it in the proper format. Regardless, it was a regrettable accident."

And Hazel said "OH MY GOD IS SHE REALLY DEAD?!?!?!?!?!?!" and Clinton said "…uh. Yeah. Apparently she really…really did. Died in a horrible…heavy machinery fire? What?" And Hazel played his heart out, and the rest is history.

So you're saying these kids are so poor they can't pay attention?

That take was so hot I had to alt tab out of this window when my wife walked into the room so she wouldn't catch me looking at Eli Roth's opinions about the current political landscape.

No argument there, and I've been there. Well, my wife was there so I ended up being there as well. The rule is to never do business with friends. You can have people you do business with and be friendly towards, but they never start out that way for good reason. Nothing ruins a friendship than a dispute over money.

While it's certainly not outside the realm of possibility, there's no endgame. The weathervane of right wing media indicates this a complete non-issue for them as well.

"Hoo, tough crowd here. What do you all work for United? Hey there! Roa-sted!"

Bernie Sanders sounds like he's doing a shoot on Smackdown every time he opens his mouth.

Any of you want to see Senator Stone Cold Steve Austin drink some beers, kick some ass, drink some more beers, submit a budget reconconciliation amendment, kick some more ass, and submit this motion to the floor gimme a hell yeah

Gotta stay current with these college crowds, man.

The library, huh? I know what kind of papers you're interested in! You don't got to lie! You don't got to lie, man!

As an up and coming college stand up comedian, I gotta say: where were these safe spaces when I was growing up? I know I could have used a safe space where my mom wouldn't walk in on me smoking weeeeeeeed!

"So I made up this contract I need you to sign. Don't worry about it, it's not a real contract. Just if anyone asks, I can show them the contract so they'll think we have a contract. But we really don't, because it's just a fake contract you signed so it only LOOKS like it's binding."

And she couldn't get him in Only God Forgives? Case dismissed!

What 9 year old can't relate to a man who has an invisible friend and spends all day playing in real trucks and eating two scoops of ice cream before staying up all night if he wants to?