As a nation of immigrants, Old Country Pride is a lot more prevalent here. I'm only 3/8th Italian but with the last name people assume you're more Italian than you really are. A teacher once asked my sister point blank if our house smelled like garlic (my mom is Czech-mish mosh so that makes even less sense). But…

Not "ejac-a-lit", ejaculate.

I believe the statement you were looking for was "Oh! Ohhhh! Ohhh! What are you, a stunad? We don't talk about divorce at the dinner table! You're breaking your mother's poor heart over there!"

Why do you assume Guy Incognito is a liberal and not just a run of the mill fuckwit?

It's far more plausible that a 9 year old boy would like something that is loud, obnoxious, and something insufferable parents are forced to sit through.

*Leon eating a bag of chips* "You sayin this guy suck his own dick?"

Okay, I get it. I was skeptical, but it actually makes a lot of sense. He gets to sit in trucks all day, he gets two scoops of ice cream, he tells everyone what to do and gets to stay up as late as he wants to. He wears a bit red hat and pretending to be him involves a lot of sitting.

"Do kids like Cheese Businessman?!" -Kimmy Schmidt

I knew you couldn't. Double or nothing, then. If you respond to this post, you owe me a 20 minute foot massage. If not, you no longer owe me the 10 minute foot massage you owed me for the last time you were unable to resist trying to get the last word.

Sounds more like a guy getting Force choked by Vader due to some sort of fuck up.

A name George Lucas would come up with on the car ride over.

It was almost as memorable as the speech from his best man Tony "The Tit" Baggidonatz.

It's like a mob comprised entirely of nephews one fuck up away from being out of the Family.

"Look, you fuckin complete me or some bullshit. Are you happy now?"

They were watching him every other weekend, so it was at least twice.

Sources close to the couple hint that Scaramucci hopes for reconciliation and was last seen slowly driving down the block with the passenger door of his Lincoln Town Car ajar shouting at his recently estranged wife "C;MON, GET IN THE CAR MARIE!"

a detail mentioned in Deadline’s write-up of the staffing change, which revealed that Priebus and Kelly were both on Air Force One when Trump tweeted out the news.

To me, he looks like French Stewart if he could open his eyes all the way.

Dibs on coining Picklegate!

-The Banality of Evil School of Business