I’m not sure the judicial system will go for a “law of averages” defense, just sayin.

You don’t! It’s such a boneheaded business move it defies explanation. You buy Twitter BECAUSE of its established brand and built in customer base that comes with it. What you DON’T do is buy an established brand and then change it into something unrecognizable and worse, boring. It’s a boring name, done to death and…

He took a well established and (formerly) respected brand and...rebranded into a generic X logo that looks like a knock-off printer ink vendor minus any sort of personality. Way to business, Elon.

Same way nearly 3 dozen women were sitting around by themselves and all said in unison one day: “Hey, you know who probably has money? Bill Cosby.”

Counterpoint: that behavior makes perfect sense when you’ve had nothing to eat but oxycontin all day.

Personally, I get a lot of this brand selling me...things????

He looks like Karl Pilkington’s evil twin.

So all you’re really saying is “be a millionaire and then you can talk”. You could have just said that.

“Stefon, do you have a suggestion for people who want to play a D&D game?”

He looks like a young Andy Rooney, which makes a lot of sense with all things considered.

Are we certain he’s not actually Andy Rooney’s grandson?

I’m certain he has a contingency plan to pivot to “What? I’m never been gay. Married this whole time to my beautiful wife. No, I did not say she was Morgan Fairchild. I said she was Morgan Fairchild-ish.”

Apparently he’s never heard of Ernst Rohm.

Aww, they stole my favorite joke for Se7en re-watches! “Interesting fact: they used Kevin Spacey’s real life apartment to film this scene.”

How do we feel about calling it a “Sorry not sorry vid”?

Ezra Miller: string of arrests for assault and disorderly conduct, waving around guns and acting erratic and threatening

Who is her PR Crisis manager, Frank Reynolds?

Did you try hitting F5 and harrumphing loudly and repeatedly until the front page of your online newsgazette ceased to vex you?

Called it.