But he has weak character because he said his coach gave him money when the coach wasn’t supposed to be doing that. He’s a pot fiend and a snitch!

Shoulda taken the guy who smoked weed in a gas mask.

1) Joke about WNBA being unpopular
2) Joke about how there are so many ESPNs
3) Joke is an overused reference to a movie from more than five years ago

Congrats, you are now a drive-time sports radio host. Please pick up your bottle of spray tanner and wrap-around sunglasses at the front desk.

No, because WNBA.

Also what good is it if you keep it in your bag...

Lawyer: We’re going to get to the bottom of this.

He kinda looks like Trump in this picture actually.

Damn. These Crying Jordan photoshops are getting really good.

The launch really hasn’t been that terrible. AT all. Stop saying that, it’s driving me nuts. Very rarely do launches on server-based games with massive numbers of players go well in the slightest. This one has been pretty average, and faaaaaaaar from terrible.

Kelp

You linked the wrong thing.

Roger Goodell is an American Hero, son. He stood up to cheating and corruption and won. This is a great day for truth, justice, and the American way.

The obvious answer here is a scheme of injuring yourself on the table saw and then suing the landlord for leaving it there.

This is a sober and measured comment.

Are you really arguing the guy who won 8 gold medals in one Olympics is overrated?

“Certainly,” continued Welker, “he’s nothing like me. I mean, come on, he catches passes in the Super Bowl for Christsakes!”

Wes Welker then went home and gave a similar interview to his desk lamp.