Thank god. Hey fatties! You’ve been deemed fuckable by this lady and therefore a person of worth! Congratulations!

I’m virtually certain he’s got this on his desk (it looks very bright for a normal photo in a frame). In which case it could be a whole slideshow of digital photos of his wife’s feet!

Could be worse

Oh, please, Deadspin. Mayweather can’t even spell IV.

“I shoulda gone to art school.”

Right here haters....right here. The Champs are Here!!!

Or Portlandia episodes.

Actual mugshot

Also this.

I’m a Niners fan (thank you for your condolences) and I hate most of Seattle and their fans but I will not stand by for any bashing of Lynch. He’s forever the best. If not for his amazing playing abilities and his hatred of the media than for this.

“Filming from an unapproved location” has quite a different tone then implying that the filming itself was illegal. It’s 66 in a 65 zone instead of mass murder. And you well know it.

So the league gets stomped in court, then all of a sudden a “bombshell” report from the same media outlet that leaked completely fabricated information shows up 5 days later? Seems like pretty good timing.

Now he can get back to playing cones of dunshire

Goddamit Kim, now Jesus has to pick up the slack since there’s one less person in the office. He’s definitely not going to be able to slide out early the Friday before a 3 day weekend.

Hey Kim.

A bunch of human hair in a kaiser roll.