Or Spanish Harlem.

Not all Brooklyns.

I was thinking the same thing until the phrase "titanium anchors". That just sounds so ominous.

As the owner of a pretty big pair I would totally do this if it would make my boobs look as good as they do in a good bra all the time. Cleavage is great and all but it would be nice to look hot in a t-shirt and no bra sometimes.

Judging from all the defensive and whiny-ass responses, I'd say not all men realize how funny this is.

The very idea of the existence of everything on this page makes Guy Fieri get a huge* boner and his frosted tips quiver in pleasure.

my guess is a small duplo but not quite a Lego

This...this is the BEST MAGAZINE COVER I HAVE EVER SEEN. Everything about it is perfect, from the fake butt to Bruce's "new look" to the caption accompanying Kris. Have the Pulitzers all been disturbed already this year?

I know no one cares about this, but I'll say it anyway. If casinos are banning you for life, you do not have a gambling problem. You are actually freakishly good at it.

same, kris

Regarding the Selena Gomez/Justin Bieber/Kylie/Kendal Jenner fiasco, THIS so much:

I love how Kim Kardashian looks like a Sims person on the InTouch cover.

I am so glad intouch provided us with this photo. Without it, I couldn't begin to imagine what it would look like if a woman was trying on a dress that didn't fit.

I doubt anyone 'round here has forgotten. And that creepster mustache he sports only serves as a visual reminder that he's a crapsack... or possibly a cartoonishly villainous Maitre D'.

OH THANK GOD. I swear, this is me every Wednesday waiting for this segment:

Oh my god, when I was 13 I had a serious thing for my 40-something married artist neighbor. I definitely hung around a lot hoping he'd notice me, and my adult self is definitely glad he didn't. He was actually really nice about letting me down easy and telling me I should just enjoy being a kid for awhile longer. I…

"Better that grub worms or crickets" isn't exactly a ringing endorsement.

Just wanna throw it out there: It seems like these celebrity teenagers grow up a lot faster than those of us at your average suburban middle school. Like, does it freak anybody else out that Kylie Jenner is 16 and seems to be living life like 20-something (lots of freedom, little/no supervison, and celebrity friends…

I still really wonder about that conversation.
"Hey, people like cheese on burgers right? You know what else is dairy? Ice cream! BAM, let's slap some of that on there!"
The mix of textures sounds gag-worthy.

Ah. It truly is the Chicken of the Sea.