It’s fun thinking of the litany of excuses a technician must have given as to why he was unable to shut off the #dp (double penetration, for those who are worried about looking it up at work) feed for a full twenty minutes.

The porn is funny, but honestly it’s funnier that someone in management thought that what their employees needed was the unfiltered social media opinions of sports fans.

Browns Marketing Executives: “Well, that #dp promotion sure didn’t work. I wonder how our new Browns-branded debit card with unlimited withdrawals from automated teller machines is being received on social media. Hey Kyle, let’s put the feed back up but change the search to Brown ATM, ok?”

I hope we get more Daredevil with Charlie Cox, somehow someway. What a thoughtful, introspective guy! I love finding out how an actor analyzes character, and how they evolve in their performance. He does such a great job.

The headline I read yesterday encapsulated the absurdity of this shutdown perfectly:

Well I think I have a new favorite minor league baseball logo

That was so bizarre even Vonleh was confused at first.

When your spades partner forgets you declared nil.

I’ve never met the man, but I think he would prefer to go in as a Binghamton Rumble Pony. Now you might ask “did he ever play for the Mets AA affiliate?”

Because this is a decent take... I’m going to allow the hashtag.... the take makes up for it.  But you’re on thin ice, mister.

“I believe he would want his Hall of Fame plaque to portray that grim, unflinching stare that batters knew so well. And, above the brim that shaded his eyes, I think he would want a “P.””

Take that, Reggie Bush!

Gore was on some very loaded Miami teams, but I think he’s outlasted all his college teammates:

I don’t know why, but the random insertion of Jeff Probst in to the mess as witnessed by Alyson Hannigan just elevates this whole mess to another glorious level.

Moreover, I'd like to thank him for my long running fantasy team name Frank Gore Vidal Sassoon

The NFL is a meat grinder of a league, where careers are short and every single player is a replaceable cog whose chief value to their team comes during their rookie contracts and franchise-tag seasons, before they either have to be paid fairly for their labor or cast off in favor of the next cheap 22-year-old.

Wow, a take dumber than the letter writer’s. I didn’t think that was possible.

“cell phone bans at restaurants are fucking stupid”

“My bet is the cell-phone policy is there to keep folks from yapping all through the dinner and disturbing other people, or from fiddling away at Candy Crush with the sound on.”

I mean, if this guy is a doctor on call then he can’t exactly say, “lolz sorry I couldn’t take your call, I was unavailable at a restaurant.”