brutal...

Wait a second, we're allowed to take the pussy with us?

Sadly, it is possible to be a careful and grammatical writer and yet be duped by a cheating sociopath. No need to ask me how I know.

You get into the right Crossfit gym, with the right trainer, and the right group of people and you'll be hard-pressed to beat that gym (for any amount of money).

The problem, however, with Crossfit is this:

You join a gym that was opened by someone with a Level 1 cert (they paid $1,200 to sit in a gym bleacher for 3…

HIIT (High-Intensity Interval Training): Crossfit classes with the Crossfit price without the Crossfit licensing fee.

Because you can't trademark a workout, your licensing fee is absurd, your 3-day "training" classes are fucking stupid, most of your trainers don't know their asshole from their elbow, but your…

What a silly post. One bottle of Grey Goose?!?! Come on, her tolerance has to be MUCH higher than that. What is she in high school!?!

An insider reports that Kim "went crazy on Kanye a few days ago when he opened a package of cookies in front of her." I don't think this is true because Kanye is too good for packaged cookies.

I find it really difficult to believe that Miley Cyrus would engage in secret "lesbian hookups" and not try to use that to make her image edgier.

I never even got a handshake on dates...

Ah yes, Faora, the woman who is completely subordinate to Zod. And Lois Lane, the Pulitzer Prize winning journalist who is so good at her job that she was able to singlehandedly follow a trail of fallen oil rigs and twisted up big rigs to discover Clark Kent's secret, one known only to everyone in town.

Bicorn!

Maybe you're Fist-Pumping Guy?

But how will you laugh alone with your salad? THAT'S WHAT WOMEN DO.

Def the vag.

My parents about died the day I tried to pronounce "hors d'oeuvres" for the first time.

I have a "wish list" Pinterest board that I update regularly. My husband has the link, so it's perfect for Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries. Don't ask me what I want; look at the Pinterest board!

My Pinterest is full of recipes. I can't say I would be terribly upset if my boyfriend cooked for the next major gift-giving occasion.

If you don't know where the "doorway" to your girlfriends mind is, quit now.