Oh, Lizzy Caplan gets drunk and naked at work and it's "charming." I get drunk and naked at work and it's "oh God what is wrong with you."

This is legitimately the best thing I've read all day.

GIVE THE BLOBFISH A BREAK!!!

I love you. Marry me?

Ohh classic Cam!

Prepare to dine.

great: now I want some cocaine.

I endorse Demi Lovato with one caveat, and that caveat is named Wilmer Valderrama. That guy is bad news.

Ha! I bet they are made up. Maybe, to make it not as obvious that the stories are fake, he should have included one who wasn't rich and smoking hot?

Yeah women like that exist, but his writing about these supposed flings smacks of the 40 year old virgin where Steve Carrel tries to describe having had sex as a virgin.

Wellllllllllll, I can personally attest to the "hardcore feminist who's a sub in bed" trope (though his idiotic claims of her rejecting flowers as being "macho" means it's only something this guy has read about), but yes, the others sound like totally one dimensional interpretations of personality types.

RIGHT. They're all stereotypes. "Ice queen"? Model who I felt emasculated standing next to? Hardcore feminist who's a sub in bed? I call bulllllllllllllllllshit.

We try to keep all the vegetable recalls under wraps, of course.

Also 5'4"! And while I did have a weird stretch of going out with guys who were all 6'4", lately I've been going for guys who are my height, or maybe (maybe) a couple of inches taller. It's just so gosh-darn nice to be able to look someone in the eye. Plus, then they can't use you shoulder or head as a shelf and…

You said "magical eight inches." Runs off giggling.

But no one knows hollywood is full of short guys because they cast even shorter guys to stand around the short guy.

Don't I know it. The first one has successfully reproduced and Facebook is insuring that we never forget it. It's only a matter of time...

Bleh. Right now my social circle has passed the "we're in that gap between college and grad school/career, so it's a good time to go ahead and make this official" wave and is now in the "all my friends are married, I must catch up to them by marrying this person I've been dating for two years and have been fighting…

One of my favorite Asimov stories is in "I, Robot" when the robot decides that it's found God and that the humans are pitiful inferior beings. That'll be funny when that happens.

Yeah, but then human innovation will be stifled when nobody invents anything anymore since we're too busy having sex with robots. Matt Groening was right.