He’s a Dad. He got Dad Jokes.

Nah, Trump dystopia is the Hunger Games - flashy, televised, and helmed by rich assholes.

If these neighbors were smart, they’d take these pics and put them on io9.

The last time I saw a fat flightless bird move that poorly another penguin was fucking his wife.

ESA’s entry in the contest:

The walrus was Paul, but he was also Saul, so the math still works.

I was watching Morning Joe (not really), wondering where he stands when it comes to sharing-economy ride services. Sure enough, wouldn’t you know, he starts talking about how great Uber is, he’s all for it, and then he asked that Donnie Deutsch guy where he falls when it comes to Uber, and Donnie said he was a…

Trump can’t grow a beard

That is impressive, wow! I’m the inverse, max deadlift of 175kg (385lb) and a squat of 120kg (264lb). Long arms and short torso help the deadlift. Long thighs and short torso make heavy squatting tough for me. That’s my excuse and I will cling to it to death!!

Trump is locked inside his Trump tower, it’s a freaking fairytale.

Risk is our business. *will apply for a job on Mars or on the ships going there in a heartbeat.*

soupcon is annual convention for soup enthusiasts where they cosplay as their favorite ingredients right?

The minute you Abandon Cash is the minute you allow Govt to steal from EVERY single soul with digital currency [see NIRP]. I’ll take my chances with a singular thief over the Federal Fucking Reserve.

See the neighbor’s toddler who plays with my kids has a tendency to take off her pants and free-range pee in my yard when she’s over here playing.

By that metric, she’s the Kundun of Phyllis Schlafly.

Praise be Supply-side Jesus!

Genius Bar Manager: JK, we need to talk about your piercings.