The one person I know who’s been featured is a raging asshole who still thinks her column was ~*inspirational*~. She still hasn’t figured out that the tone of the column presented them as pathetic freaks who have self-selected out of the larger dating pool, thank god.

If The Bunny is ever lost, it will be the event later historians point to as the beginning of Kid Electron’s path to the dark side.

Day 39: Changed New Mexico’s name to New Trumpadonia.

I wore caftans all through the summer I was pregnant with Kid Electron.

I mean, we’ve already seen the matinee performance with Dubya, and that was a global disaster. We do not need to do it again.

My cats and my parents’ cats are all declawed rescues, because people are terrible.

Is this where I moan that my in-laws have tickets to see it in June? They have zero interest in the show, but my FIL received tickets from one of the companies he does consulting work for, and, well, it is popular, so why not?

Yeah, seems like the time.

Kid Electron refused to wear shorts last summer, and would only wear dresses with leggings. Yesterday, she announced that she’s only wearing “really short shorts” this summer. She’s four. I could cry.

Elomi makes the best damn bras. They are insanely comfortable.

That’s because Gen X’s gateway drug was cutting sarcasm and caffeine, before we moved onto bitter irony and heroin. Jesus. Kids today.

Everyone I know here in New Mexico has been touched by drunk driving some way. It needs to be addressed. But Susana’s all sheen and no substance, so of course this is her solution.

I really hope you someday pass off a bad mood and/or straight shooting with “Whale biologist!”

Three Hundred Big Boys is my absolute favorite episode.

As a New Mexican, it is my right, nay, my obligation to get smashed on Gruet at every single wedding, funeral, baby shower, and random Thursday.

WHO SMELLS LIKE FREAKING PORPOISE HORK?!

It’s like looking into the future to see Kid Electron at age seven.

Eh, I totally missed out on boy bands, and was remembering what posters were taped up in my friend’s locker in middle school.

But here’s the real throwdown: who was your Seattle band in 1991? Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, or Soundgarden?

Later Gen Xers loved New Edition and New Kids on the Block!

I sort of did the same at graduation. Instead of going to the huge private party at the country club, I ended up hanging out at the school-sponsored lock-in, shooting pool and saying good-bye to a bunch of friends.