The husband is calling our attempts at reproduction the one ring, because our kid will rule them all.

@morninggloria: Albuquerque's fantastic. Our schools are crap, our roads are crap, our politics corrupt, but it was 82 degrees yesterday and we've got green chile.

Oh, fuck it. I've got a six week slide into my thirty-first birthday. I've already lived through the 1980s, and they were not awesome. If some teenaged upstart fashion victim thinks that I'm sad and lame for being twice her age and carrying my big burgundy patent leather bag instead of a fanny pack, I think I'll live.

@BrightonShiny: Had. They moved to Portland as soon as they signed to Subpop and were all, "Alba-wha?"

Could we stop using Albuquerque as shorthand for the ass-end of nowhere, Podunk, America? We're small, we're willfully quirky, but "Anywhere, America" we're not.

@sara-without-an-h: I knew a woman who did, yes. Shew as my next door neighbor for awhile. She was a very sad individual and thought that if she just followed Oprah's advice, she'd find some sort of happiness, and that included eating whatever Oprah told her to eat that week.

@sara-without-an-h: Sounds pretty good to me, actually.

The next person who mutters about someone's preference for real butter and heavy cream will get their artificially-flavored, over-preserved, low-calorie "food" in the face.

31. Trying to not be fat for the third time in ten years. Trying to build a small side business. Trying to get promoted. Trying to have a baby. And I envy everyone because they have it all going on.

Chaves County represent, yo. (I loved that park when I was a kid.)

@badmutha: That's how I roll. But note to my sisters fighting the ignorant patriarchy — spirit gum is no match to driving 75 with the top down.

On the surface, it's a generally well-meaning, but probably hastily put together bill coming on the heels of the Octomom explosion, and I think the drafters are probably counting on that. It sounds reasonable on the surface — limits! — but a little digging and critical thinking shows that it's another way designed to…

@cocobanal: After spending a similar 45 minutes, I discovered that my husband wasn't that into me.

I think she's making the "do you see those ruffles over my shoulder? Yeah, she's going to regret it in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ..." face.

@FourInchHeels: The day after Easter is one of the dude's high holy days, for that is when he can buy two whole cases of Cadbury Eggs for six bucks.

If I'm going to eat a candy bar, I'm going to eat a fucking candy bar. It's going to be a goddamned Hershey's bar and it's going to be deeeeeelicious.

I think it's time Mr. Obama start calling out senators and congresspersons by name on national television. Hell, we could make a fine reality show out of it. Mr. Obama could pull on Republican Senator X and read back X's objections to the stimulus package, and then introduce that Senator to a family of his or her…

@PamR: It was the Always-branded period film. I know this, because they then forced me to "win" a 3x5 foot Box of Always-brand Sanitary Napkins (with Wings!(tm)), which I had to carry around for the rest of the day. I was in the fifth grade. I'm still scarred.

I have a friend in Australia. We've chatted for years. I've never met him; chickened out of meeting him when he was in SoCal a couple of years ago. There's nothing romantic about it, but he his my friend.

Jesus, people — especially those of you in the gub'ment — it's really easy. Pay your friggin' taxes. It's good citizenship. If you're a lawmaker and you engage in tax tomfoolery, you're not only extending a middle finger to the people who are footing your bill, you're also letting us know that you think the system's…