@debaucherie: Well, we are the most unreliable when it comes to the usage of nuclear weapons and our economic meltdown's triggered a domino effect around the globe, and every single one of my friends abroad is waiting on pins and needles to see how the election shakes out, so that Anchorage editorial board might have…

@Penny_Esq: mad as a sack of badgers: @clair: I cannot tell you how many times I've had to tell some idiotic transplant from the East Coast or the Midwest that those brown people they've dubbed "illegal immigrants" have been here longer than the speaker's precious Mayflower forebearers.

@thecameralovesyou: My grandmother's funeral is on Monday, and I have had whispered telephone conversations with my mother about the appropriateness of either going bare-legged or wearing fishnets, because neither one of us wants to wear hose. This is how we stay together as a unit.

@funnyface: Awww, funnyface, I'm sorry.

I have to list my consignment shop finds!

Oh, man. The dude and I outlasted another celebrity couple. That's something to drink to.

@UglyBroomstick: I'm severly hard of hearing, and yet, I wanted to be a Navy Seal.

Growing up, I was the only girl in my class who thought it horribly unfair that I couldn't "fight in a war." (Since, in the dark ages of the mid-1980s, we did not call it "serving in combat.")

@jemandtheholograms: The husband and I have hatched a plan to egg a house with a McCain sign, and then leave one ceremonial egg on the doorstep with "Chickens for Choice" written on it.

We've already got our visa paperwork in for Australia, have it filled out for New Zealand, and we're debating Ireland and the UK if the antipodes don't come through. If that is all a wash, we'll jump over the border and ride it out in Mexico.

@BAngieB: Mighty fine. She's up to three pretties in my book. Pretty, pretty, pretty girl.

@TwiceShy: And fathers.

@Hamsterpants: The Pope is Palpatine. Walnuts is definitely deshelled Vader.

I've been registered since I was 18, pulled the lever for the first time for Clinton in 1996.

@ineffable.me: Yes. So fucking much. It's a log ride to hell.

@LaFemme: Haven't we recently learned that, in fact, the luxury brands were outsourcing the work to China and India and maybe fudging on that whole "Made in Italy" stamp? Wasn't that the thesis of that New York Times writer's book whose title escapes me at the moment?

@snowboardervxn: I laugh at the "moderation" bit. Have you seen where they put it? Bagels? Bread? Cans of chili?

GIVE ME MAH SPLENDA! And I won't eat you.

@hearmeroar: You and me both. For every cupcake I bake, there is a poop joke. My poor mother weeps for me.

So. When I was recuperating from a really awful illness that nearly killed me in the 8th grade, someone brought me a stack of books to keep me occupied during the long hours at home. At the top was this book. At the same point in my life, I had a crippling addiction to Queen's greatest hits. Combine the ending of this…