I'm seeing lots of glitter bombs in New Hope's future.

He certainly shouldn't have been convicted based on the case that the State of Maryland brought. If he did kill Hae (I don't have a strong opinion either way), then it's a happy accident he's in prison, but it is fucking crazy to me that he got convicted in the way that he did.

MORE BREAD FOR ME.

Pro-Tip? It's fabulous to go away for free when you've just had the luxury of calling the boss out in front of his entire production team for being such a lazy asshole, then blowing kisses at surprised co-workers whilst being frog-marched out of the corporate office by security, lol. People were still reminding me of…

NBC doesn't deserve Ann Curry.

What happened to the dog, tho.

I think in the long term, your spouse is going to see you at your absolute worst, through illnesses, mourning, aging, etc. If seeing someone at their worst kills your spark, you shouldn't be marrying them.

I'm guessing lazy (plea deal = no more work on the case) coupled with the idea that he should take it easy on older professional white guys because he's already learned his lesson.

I admit Bravo shows are my guilty pleasure, but I cringed at the way the producers set this up. You'd think a network catering to a large gay audience would avoid the whole OMG GAY! story line. And I also hate the producers even more since Jax came off totally cool about the whole thing and sane. Jax should never be…

Really awkward spelling aside...pretty sure financial fraud and failure to pay taxes doesn't fall under "heinous crime" for most people.

I feel like maybe those are out of order tho'

When am I not this hippo

Never, EVER underestimate the stupidity of the United States people. Seriously. Look at our Congress and tell me that nobody is that stupid or ignorant.

I have found that "quesadilla" is one of the more important words to know how to spell when drunk.

It's not that I think everyone who tosses salad is a walking cesspool of disease, it's that I think everyone who's a human is a walking cesspool of disease. The human body is amazing, and also profoundly, disturbingly revolting.

Depending on where you get it, it can actually be not that great. It's really more of a melted butter delivery vector than actual quality foodstuff in its own right. If you just get some imitation crabmeat and melt some butter for dipping, you'll get a rough amalgam of a cheap lobster dinner.

I thought it was a dumb scene, and I tweeted about it, and then Erin made me write a post because that's how editors work. We don't coordinate our Girls ass-eating coverage with any other site. I haven't talked to the man, but I doubt Nick Denton gives a shit about that show one way or the other. Also, I think Allison…

Dateline tells me to wipe down the hotel remote with bleach before using it because of all the fecal matter, but Lena Dunham tells me to motorboat that ass. Mixed messages, yo.

All these years later, I'm still not over the cancellation of Pushing Daisies. #RupertsFault

I accidentally got White Out on me. Those whites just won't leave me alone. #RupertsFault