If it was going to happen it would have long ago. Believe me.

That shit takes an emotional toll, dude.

Burritos..... in California.

Those are big too but we also have a huge number of taco trucks. Not the hipstery, white boy ones either, Im talking about the scary looking ones that serve hot sauce that smells like forklift exhaust.

The top 20 will be found in Houston.

If I dont trust them even that much then im not marrying the motherfucker.

They should break it down into single and non single.

Dude here, Ive gone 5 times in one day.

Three words: Wedding Snake Rental

Hows the Aryan Brotherhood kick-ball team doing this year?

"Rankin had a blanket under a large palm tree in a wooded area off Citrus Boulevard..."

At first I though he was SIGNING the nigger word.

OK, make me a list of all the best shit on NETFLIX streaming.

I like this guy.

"Scrambled eggs are fine but keep her away from the tossed salads"

"...he came out to give me a so called 'Leith massage,' which is essentially being bashed."

Plumber: "Yeah, uh, Sister Theresa, I think I see your problem here. It looks like you got , oh I'd say, about a thousand dead babies in your septic tank. You know you're not supposed to flush those things. You should put them in the garbage disposal."

"OK sir, would you like the 600 or 800 baby capacity..?"

Thats a big septic tank.