Does anyone else see Lindsay Lohan? It looks just like her, four years ago...

I couldn't get past how awful that wig is.

This music is really bad and I can't see her as anything but Pennsatucky in a bad wig.

I'm sorry, but aren't comments like that the whole point of Fashion Police? They sit there and make rude comments about peoples' appearance. Is there some sort of imaginary line that didn't exist until now?

Jesus Christ. It's just fucking hair.

i don't even want him to officiate my lunch.

Oh, I rolled my eyes SO HARD during this part. Like, you're tied to a post after having been punched and threatened with a knife to your skull, you offer applesauce to the dude who made the threat TO GIVE TO HIS CHILD and then you won't eat it yourself? COME ONNNNNN.

I was laughing myself silly over the applesauce thing. Like, I get it, your mom wanted you to eat apples and become a manly man and that's painful for you, but it's the zombie apocalypse, dude! Crazy Rick will knife you for almost no reason at all and he wants to make sure you're not poisoning the baby. Just take a…

Hey, now, some of us just like Diet Coke.

I'm one of those "and a diet coke" people, but only because I hate the taste of regular coke. If I need the caffeine, I'm going to order a diet coke no matter what I'm eating. #notalldietcoke

Eddie Murphy on Richard Pryor about Bill Cosby.

Speaking of Kristen Wiig, I highly recommend The Skeleton Twins. That's all. Just needed to get that out there.

You're really good at paraphrasing other people say to suit your point. Like saying that Patti Smith was asked about her "right to use the word"rather than being specifically asked if she regretted writing a protest song decades ago.

My favorite taqueria just removed their delicious lamb tacos from the menu. I wasn't a jerk about it, though, I just cry quietly into my tacos now.

Sir Paul just needs to find an appropriate key and give up the ghost of hitting those 1970s high notes. It's painful now.

I thought there was something different with his eyes, thank you. Also, could people stop having Paul McCartney sing? He's done, his voice is done, just, no.

YES! I can't explain it, but that always brings me to tears.

Usually when a celebrity dies I'll think it's sad but I won't MISS them. I missed Phil Hartman for years.

Here's the biggest lie/deception that I ever perpetuated on my parents ...

Hey wait a minute, my mom has tile like that in her bathroom... And that's not my dad!