Oh man someone is getting some really mean text messages.

It's a great investment. I imagine NFL owners will just keep selling the plot back and forth to each other. Forever. ))<>((

How can you make fun of people from Alabama by saying they don't understand English when the guy speaking is also from Alabama? It's madness!!

It doesn't work because Winston is from Alabama.

That website works if you type in any celebrities name, try justin-bieber or kanye-west or katy-perry.

What were the three federal agencies he was going to eliminate again?

Also taking a soccer ball to the nuts hurts.

Fortunately the Dolphins have announced signing a previously unknown lineman, Dick Undercover.

Pfft... Mickey Mouse antics.

Well, at least Shahid Khan will have one team in London not at risk of being relegated (even though both suck).

It clearly was meant to say "In Schenectady" due to the MLBs new neutral site in cities with funny names policy.

Clicked hoping to see a video of a lady falling down.

In GOP circles Chihuahua is known as "Rand Paul's Wonderland" because of it's success deregulating pretty much everything.

Tebow; even an atheist prays to god on his deathbed.

Only if your Mormon.

Deadline is reporting NBC picked up "Football Rain Delay" for 13 episodes with the option for a back nine. (This joke would kill on Defamer.)

To be fair, the original fight song is so fucking terrible that it's amazing.

I went to my first Dolphins game as an infant. My second Dolphins game was Dan Marino's last game where he got destroyed by the Jaguars. The fucking Jaguars.

Can you seriously blame him? If I was a rich asshole I'd have my own rally team, too.

I thought they closed them when a tourist or two was run over a couple years ago. Maybe it was a different beach.