What were the three federal agencies he was going to eliminate again?

Also taking a soccer ball to the nuts hurts.

Fortunately the Dolphins have announced signing a previously unknown lineman, Dick Undercover.

Pfft... Mickey Mouse antics.

Well, at least Shahid Khan will have one team in London not at risk of being relegated (even though both suck).

It clearly was meant to say "In Schenectady" due to the MLBs new neutral site in cities with funny names policy.

Clicked hoping to see a video of a lady falling down.

In GOP circles Chihuahua is known as "Rand Paul's Wonderland" because of it's success deregulating pretty much everything.

Tebow; even an atheist prays to god on his deathbed.

Only if your Mormon.

Deadline is reporting NBC picked up "Football Rain Delay" for 13 episodes with the option for a back nine. (This joke would kill on Defamer.)

To be fair, the original fight song is so fucking terrible that it's amazing.

I went to my first Dolphins game as an infant. My second Dolphins game was Dan Marino's last game where he got destroyed by the Jaguars. The fucking Jaguars.

Can you seriously blame him? If I was a rich asshole I'd have my own rally team, too.

I thought they closed them when a tourist or two was run over a couple years ago. Maybe it was a different beach.

My dad was a cop in Daytona Beach back when you could drive on the beach and he frequently had to deal with cars in the surf. When the owners (usually Midwesterners) returned to find their car being towed out of the water they'd become furious and demand to know how the police were going to catch the person(s) who…

I guess if I drove a Civic I wouldn't care if I lived or died either.

I know I this should make me want to stop eating meat... but instead it makes me want to eat as much as I can while there's still some debate.

The program is worth continuing, yes, but there's no need to actually produce it if it's fucking broken, right? Make a few prototypes and when those work reliably then spend billions manufacturing.

If I recall correctly it has to be ingested to be effective, how is that going to repel mosquitoes?