@VegasTheory: count them BY HAND????

@OreoExplosion: don't worry, steve said unlike the other OSes, he did multitasking right and it's not going too have a significant impact on battery life. you're probably just using it wrong. try not turning on the screen, should last longer.

@Cosmopolitan: because if they go there, they'll DIE. do you want them to DIE? that's really messed up, man.

@Delano_J: but do indian people have an inherently strong work ethic and are they good at following directions?

@DrakeDatsun: that's part of the disguise, man.

@tomsomething: the top line is sooooo jealous of the bottom line.

@Odinist: what are you talking about? decent OS? listen, buddy, i've never used it and i KNOW it sux0rz to the maximusaurus rex because everyone is saying it, OOKKKK????

*looks with uncertainty at recently acquired dismembered hand still dripping all over the shag carpet*

is number 1 that it has apple written on the back? OH YEAHHHHHHH

WHAT??? i was certain they were going to start serving drinks. that's the last time i send my million dollar ideas to apple.

@senshikaze: i just want to hug you and never let you go

@dallasmay: who eats bamboo? that's disgusting.

aww, my two favorite foods all in the same picture.

@JakeMG: i think sergey has his eye on spying on more than just the good ol' u.s. of a

why are you going to ask me that question and then steal my thunder by providing all this info related to the question??? that's just rude, mark wilson. you have to give me an opportunity to answer. i thought tv raised you better than that.

ah, karetnikov, the hardest spy to crack. they only knew he was a spy when they checked and saw that his facebook status was "spying on america for mother russia - also listening to justin bieber"

@Turkieshooter: this is what i never understood. why do these things tend to leave out of windows? do they not know how to use doors? i feel like that's just a failure in upbringing right there. only brotha man was allowed to enter/exit through windows.

@talkingstove: i must be in the future wearing some hot pants

@Ben Alexander: that's why you do aother DIY fix-up where you just put plastic cups in your pockets. they'll always stay open and people may accidentally poor cheap beer into them and ruin your tater tots, camera, and small people, but i think it's worth it in the end

BUT THAT WILL CROWD OUT THE CARE BEARS!