we need to see running baby shots. since i know peopel are averse to having shots of their baby up on the internet, you can blur out their faces or superimpose the visage of dom delouise on the little devils. and i realize that i should have said toddlers instead of babies, but now all i can think about are babies…

i for one will not make a comment about how the only way to get this lady to stop eating was to cover her head in plastic and throw her in the ocean

@miner6084: and little did they know their emo boy would do it anyway

hey! i only counted 392!

@Jordan Downey: thanks, i've been working out.

with this, my arsenal is more dangerous than ted nugent's

@meruru: how can you hate Q? when capitalized, it looks like an O with a tail and there is nothing better than giving something with a tail the o face. wait, no, that's not right is it? i...i have to go.

hmm...this chiclet looks weird, but futuristic and tasty

@NorwoodIsMyHero: i always knew you were a stand up guy. frankly, norwoodismyhero is my hero.

@Fierock: recycling bin or blow torch

@MeiTai: my biggest pet peeve is genital warts. nothing ruins a great evening like ye olde genital warts.

@Breamworthy: have you thought of signing off with the following?

i hate how i keep getting emails asking for my account information and stuff. i mean, it just gets so redundant to pass out that info all the time. i just decided to update my signature with my SSN and bank account info just to save time and it really has been a lifesaver. maybe i should post this in #tips.

@jonny6pak:

@katekate is squared: Dearest katekate is squared,

@acrobaticrabbit: but these aren't salutations. if it were "greetings from my iphone!" or "it's a sunny day in my blackberry hello!" then i think we'd all agree that all is good and well with the world, but these are signatures, man. SIGNATURES!

@Rontourage: why should it read at all? reading is for losers and karaoke.

@sutty5: you are alone. horribly alone.

@njso18: note to self: do not eat anything out of njso18's fridge, no matter how enticing the spiced mayonnaise looks

@mohamedzv2001: you could always get an enriching hobby like crack cocaine. nothing brings people together like crack cocaine.