@MacBandit: *goes outside...gets shot in the face...shakes fist at MacBandit...goes back to computer to write angry reply to MacBandit...goes to fridge to see if any spare eyeballs are left behind ketchup...argh, already all eaten...goes to tv to see if infomercial on with new eye offers...argh, only magic…

@Robert 'K-M' Alicea: *checks Secret_Garden430's followers*

that fish is on some serious amphetamines.

oh man, that sucks. it's harder to do #corrections on a watercolor, but that would be "excerpt", no?

when technology passes me by, i normally just whistle and yell out, "hey baby, let me take you out to sizzler." i'd say it may depend on the tech, but i'm really not all that picky.

*reads headline while waiting for game to load*

i say take it to a rave, yah?

maybe rig it to be controlled remotely and then swallow it and see how long it would take for it to burn its way out of your body

well, the most obvious test would be to see if it hurts more to get burned by one of these things or to get your legs run over by a steamroller.

@Hello Mister Walrus: "hey mister walrus...why do you walk around naked playing the trombone and squeezing a live cat in your buttcheeks?"

@jetRink: that's almost as dramatic as when those guys were running the secret radio network in harry potter. man alive but were those boys brave.

@rurena: you have some freaky threesome fantasies don't you.

@MarcusMaximus: they all die. huge truck accident. there was like a helicopter, too. some sort of monkey stranglers wearing vests. terrible and unspeakable tragedies, really.

@DeadDuck: *tries not to say something racist*

@MarcusMaximus: thanks for the reminder. i need to re-read all of those books. i haven't read any of them since ender's shadow.

@Scarred4life: that seem a little difficult, given the violent history between cats an kites. wouldn't it just be easier to chop down the tree? mr miyagi did it to save sato, so surely you can do it to save your kite.

@Scarred4life: you throw a cat up there and and hope for the best.

@Knowimagination: simply and safely. you just cut the power line with your extra long samurai sword.

@certifiedfryguy: your day does not have enough excitement. you need to ride a dog-bear or hefty woman to work everyday.

@tomsomething: also, be sure to be naked. it's not often that you hear about people dying naked, so that seems like a pretty logical safety measure.