You *can't* apparate or disapparate within the grounds or castle! Aren't you ever going to read "Hogwarts: A History"?

I think the term to use for a group of tornados should be "school" not "swarm." You know, like sharks. (Do sharks school?)

'That was so informative! Did you know that witches can store their menstrual blood to use in fertility potions? Oh! And Professor McGonagal was telling us about protection charms that you can put onto your vulva so that anything that enters you without your consent will turn black and shrivel up.'

That's why I insisted that my wife have a completely natural, drug-free c-section.

I have a very modest 1 ct. diamond solitaire ring that cost $6,000. It is also the smallest out of my group of friends (not complaining, just stating a fact). Not sure where they got those figures for the article, but spending $2,000 - $4,000 grand on a ring is not considered flashy by any means.

Eh, I think Alexandria is nice, but then I like Historical City names. I won't ever have kids, but if I did, I'd probably end up naming them unconventional shit like Victory or Holiday or something.

Got married.

WOW, That got real, real fast. I think I'll stick to my go to Tinder pick up line;

Would we correct a young teen girl if she thought what she had with a two adult male teachers tag teaming her as just fine?

That is the first question I ask to determine my level of outrage and concern. IF the conspiracy theory could possibly be true, would there be any impact? If Mrs Obama was a man and/or the kids were Moroccan, literally nothing would be impacted. Her birth certificate says lady, legally a lady. Now Im annoyed,…

How shrewd of the Obamas to adopt daughters who look exactly like them.

This is sad, but I still wanted to say thank you for your work trying to improve the prison system. I'm sure despite the tears that you made some difference with at least one person.

What part of "bovine gang rape wedding" do you feel won't win the "worst wedding" prize?

I actually know a lot of deeply religious people who support reproductive rights and struggle with reconciling their faith and their political/social beliefs. I think they are absolutely capable of intelligent discourse and have witnessed it many times.

What a clusterfuck. How about the Universities just handle the situation so no one needs to be making lists. Jesus tap dancing Christ already.

Taint that right.

Perfect pooposals are not all they're cracked up to be.

You mean, like when they take it off and hang it up in their locker before they go home?

OMFG IT WAS A JOKE I WAS MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE WHO SAY THESE TYPES OF ASININE THINGS.