There's crazy-eyes and then there's RETARDED-KID-RAPING crazy eyes.

And leading the Pro-Rape argument team...?

Hollyweird Moron.

This is in fact, not true.

"My Caweew cannot be defined by mewe intewviews or tv talk shows."

I hate that someone said it, but if someone had to say it (as in, when it's time for assholes to speak, they speak), I'm glad it came out of the mouth of George Will.

What the fuck kind of fluted cylinder is this?! Has the "artist" ever SEEN a revolver?

"ASK US about the imaginary friend that rules our sex lives."

UGLIEST, CREEPIEST, most inappropriate "family" sentiment ever:

TIME? SINGULAR?

Here's something that, as an atheist myself, DOES NOT BOTHER ME about some of the extremely devout:

Is diabetes gay-friendly too, now?

Lindsay Lohan & Alexander Skarsgard.

Pretty soon, they'll be mandatory for EVERYONE.

After a month of granola, crapping is optional ever afterward for life.

"I'm as thick a moron as you'll ever see a picture of!"

Also, I meant to mention: Keep a sharpened pencil in your purse/pocket.

LADIES: If a man grabs your breast or rubs his boner on you: STAB HIM with a pencil.

If she'd swallowed a bottle of Oxyconting ALSO MEDICALLY CONTRAINDICATED and went to the hospital, NOBODY would be blaming pain med protocols, Oxy, or the doctor. Just HER.