After two or three flights with men who wanted to just spout out their "sage wisdom" to me for hours, I learned to stonewall the shit out of small talk. If you sit with me, it ain't happening. I will offer you the most curt answers possible or flat-out ignore you if I must. I just want to read my book, nibble my…

Don't usually mind either! I think my relationship only survived the return trip from the new year holiday (including unplanned stop in different city) because I spent the last leg of the flight entertained by playing with the toddler in the seat next to me and the sound of the baby laugh made me human again instead…

Actually, I really don't mind sitting next to them. They're fun, and usually way more excited about the flight than I am, which usually perks me up a little. What I detest is sitting in front of them and spending five hours getting my seat kicked.

For a couple years I had flight anxiety so bad that my adrenaline would essentially sober me up from Xanax and/or alcohol. I would have had to have been too far gone to fly so I just sucked it up and white knuckled it.

I sat next to a young-ish guy on a 15+ hour flight who asked me when my movie was going to be over "so I could talk to him." When the credits rolled, he noticed and made a pouty face when I selected another one.

He won't take anything. He is going to a therapist that specializes in fear of flying. :)

One time two years ago I sat next to a 9-year-old who was flying alone. He started inexplicably crying while we were still sitting at the gate, and so I started asking him about his favorite subject in school and the like to distract him, and we talked for about 15 minutes. He must have decided we were friends,…

It seemed to have worked out fine for everyone involved.

I used to talk to people on planes. Then, one time 11 years ago, I was verbally assaulted by a Kirk Cameron loving Christian, and now never talk to anyone. You know his whole, "Have you ever lusted? YOU'RE AN ADULTERER! Have you ever disliked someone? THAT'S MURDER IN YOUR HEART! YOU'RE A MURDERER!" Yes. He was…

I sat next to a negging, sleazy cruise-ship magician for a 7 hour flight. He offered me raisnets and made fun of my kindle. Bitch, please. The Empress does not eat shitty chocolate, nor is she impressed by your pregnant Lebanese girlfriend who actively encourages you to sleep with other women because she's "too fat to…

I think I'm the only one around here who's overjoyed to sit next to/near a little kid.
One time I was flying home for break, coming form Orlando, and a 3 year old with a Mickey Mouse hat was in front of me. He babbled about DisneyWorld and we played peek-a-boo for 3 hours. It was the most enjoyable flight I've ever…

This is my bf nightmare. He's a very nervous flier and has to read the entire time or he'll think about dying. He won't even talk to me on a plane.

"Acceptable" and "enjoyable" are not the same thing. I won't think you're a psycho if you try to make small talk with me. I will probably be as unenthusiastic as possible until you leave me alone.

Not me. Happy to know I'm not the only one who reacts that way lol

I generally go out of my way to avoid small talk anywhere. Even more so when I'm on a plane because I'm usually trying to go through my checklist of reminders that I'm not going to die on this thing/dranking to forget.

You misspelled the headline. It's properly spelled:

I was once grading papers with headphones on and this man leaned across the aisle, reached over to my window seat and tapped me on the shoulder all to say "Grading papers, eh?" I fear that people like that chap will take this study as a Class A license to ill (harder).

I think I met you once. Educational curriculum salesperson?

One time when a plane ride got super bumpy, my first instinct was to tense up severely and grab my "neighbor"'s hand. It was total instinct.

Damn, what if I'm terrified that the person next to me is going to talk to me? This is terrible news!