There are deep psychological explanations for Vontaze Burflict’s behavior. He’s taking out his anger at a world which spellchecks refuse to recognize his name.

OH GOD THEY WANT CHIP KELLY

Hearing about a couple named Candi and Jimbo getting divorced because they’re Seminoles but she slept with a Gator is the most Floridian story ever written.

Typical Mormons: the only thing getting blown is money.

I couldn’t hear you, my whore was moaning.

I give Harrison a lot of credit for manning up on this issue. This was a stunning display of human growth.

Fat guy touchdowns are the best. Not this one. The Eddie Lacy TD later in the game.

Fuck.... he totally will too. That dude is a sick actor in his own right and his movie’s timing is perfect due to Caitlyn Jenner and trans rights. Sorry Leo you have awful timing.

A true leader that wears number one, to remind himself of his team’s record.

I thought I was looking at my mother’s old douche-bag, but that’s in Ohio.

Tom Brady is the Tom Cruise of the NFL.

Thanks for your thoughts and memories, SCfMA. You’re a great writer. I love this. I, too, was in West Texas for a few years in the 1980s, and the two revelations were the greatness of the high school football and the awfulness of the dust storms. Outside of fall Fridays, life there was a mix of a Steinbeck novel and…

I attended Permian High School a long time before the FNL book, movie or TV series, none I which I have watched/read because it would likely bring back unhappy family memories. It really is weird to read about the football team and see that field sign, which was there in an earlier incarnation. Odessa High School was…

Reporter: Tom, do you like Don Trump?

That pass is even more incredible from this angle:

Bills fans coped with the tough loss by chokeslamming someone through a folding table and having a gangbang in the bed of an El Camino.

Similarly, when I open the front door, nobody expects me to have pants on.

“This Sunday, the garbage ass Forty Niners helmed by future quarterback training facility owner Blaine Gabbert will face the eternal tire fire of the Cleveland Browns, led by future “What happened to..” documentary subject Johnny Manziel!
Don’t miss a moment of this exciting turd smolder, as both teams push for draft…

He probably felt better after he ate a bowl of his favorite cereal.

Every reporter should know by now that invoking “feelings” or “emotions” around the Belichick AI brings it one step closer to sterilizing the Earth of biological imperfections.