(Sorry, no pictures - trying to share the fuzziness is making Chrome crash.)

I am the official family leftie, having been born and raised in the SF Bay Area. The rest of my family is from a small town in Trump Country and most of them still live in the area where they grew up. So I’m the go-to relative for the kids of my cousins who are (pick one or more) coming out as gay, in an interracial…

I’m the family failure!

Since we’re on this topic -my last longer term ex and I broke up in June.  I’ve made it 100% clear I do not want to see him ever again, or ever get back together.  He has texted me 3 times since then.  And I have now blocked him everywhere, including gmail - well lo and behold, I checked my spam folder, and last…

I actually felt bad for him. He was very embarrassed. He apologized and left. She never heard from him again.

Had an epic near-miss Thursday night. I’m in a new relationship and having some insecurities and drunkenly texted an ex lover who I still talk to sometimes platonically and said “Am I good at sex stuff?!” And got back something along the lines of “Fuck yes.” And then a “Can I be graphic? I love your ass, and your…

Same! Who’s got time to text something stupid when you can just blurt it out face to face?

When my wife and I were a few months into dating, she invited me up to her families ski cabin in Lake Tahoe for a weekend. I got lost and texted her asking to confirm the address. Never heard back. Did not matter because I found the cabin 30 seconds later. She was waiting outside and flagged me down.

You know how some people lie awake at night with deep existential dread? I just remember this, and the void runs away in horror.

You mean the text bitching about my mum, that I sent to my boyfriend, but actually sent it to my mum, while I was sitting right in front of her?

I think my favorite ever viral tweet thread was from a girl who’d change the contact name from “Mom” to her name on the phone of any guy who creeped her out before asking for her number. The obvious get being that it was a real ‘you played yourself’ move, in that if they sent a harmless text, they’d get a harmless…

God, inside jokes just are viral infections once they get loose.

I got caught screenshotting a (former) friend.  She said something hilariously stupid and I needed my husband to share in it with me, but I accidentally sent the screenshot back to her.  Whooooooopsie

My husband loves the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. He quotes it constantly. So one day I ended a text conversation with my stepdaughter with, You just keep thinking, Bitch, that’s what you’re good at.

I own a dog walking buisness and one time my client canceled a walk via text and then shortly after sent another text saying: “ugh skipped work today cuz I spent all last night drinking wine and fucking. So hungover.". Obviously meant for a close friend not the dog walker. She was mortified. 

She’s a genuinely excellent person. But yeah, the church she was raised in is straight up garbage.

Awww, thats nice!

I don’t like you enough to respond to a text in a timely manner. Please stop texting me, I don’t want to be friends anymore. Just stop.

Right after I gave birth to my son, my mom took a picture that included my naked, right titty, and texted it to our entire family. Does that count?

None because I do my best and most regrettably unforced errors in person thank you very much.