Also, last week she was made an honorary sheriff’s deputy. Fiona! I’m so proud.

She also has a beer being made in her honor!

I love Fiona and this is enough for me to go to Ohio.

They always look like they are smiling...how could you not love a perpetually happy hippo??

Ugh. Brookfield Zoo has a pygmy hippo so she is FOREVER SMOL. Last time I was there I just gaped at her in her wading pool. I might have cried a little.

That’s a terrible cat!

Baby hippo, for sure. Stubbier legs.

Mope Diamond

I only object that this schematic clearly has “sea flap-flap” and “majestic sea flap flap” mixed up. Manta rays are majestic, huge creatures that soar through the water and dance the most beautiful sea ballet of flips and turns. That bottom-skimming stingray in the other photo doesn’t even come close to the manta’s…

Baby hippo, juuuust barely.

Can some rogue but nice scientist get on creating the North American House Hippo and the Pygmy Lap Giraffe? Please?

I saw someone calling snakes “Nope Ropes” on Facebook yesterday. It spoke to my soul.

A buddy of mine worked as a production assistant on a nature documentary in the Okavango Delta in Botswana. He said that angry hippos nearly capsized his boat a couple of times—which would have meant instant death, of course.

She is very cute for a danger water cow.

Yeah, she’s cute but she would murder all of us if given a chance. Hippos don’t mess around; they are one of the only vegetarian mammals that fuck with other animals just for the hell of it. They even fight lions and crocodiles!

How exactly have I failed so much in life that I’m not this woman? Time to reevaluate my life choices. Again.

I found this video of her swimming very soothing

I’m going to one-up you on the cute RIGHT HERE

Cuter baby animal, elephant or hippo? Discuss.

Ohmygosh. Look at his fancy little self! Also, he can swim right? Baby hippos can swim? Because blooop, into that water and then... CUT TO DRINKING MOTHER HIPPO. Like a Lifetime movie.