“I want to burn your house down.”

No way. I happily packed 19+ boxes of my books for my last move and I hope for my next move there will be even more. I was proud of every single one of those boxes. I love the texture of books, the look of books and the possibility of books and it is the mark of a cozy, soulful home in my opinion. Unless I have…

Otherwise, throw that shit to the curb, buy a Kindle, regret nothing.

Ugh. I feel I’m pointing out the obvious, but the restaurants have to enact these policies because, well, they have to now. My parents, back in the 80's and into the 90's, on occasion, used to take my sister and I to restaurants (like, not McDonalds or Burger King, real restaurants like the one above) and we all knew…

How many times have you seen a parent give their kid  just a “little sip” of their beer just to shut them up. I’ve seen it before and so do undercover licensing authorities. A 100,000$ liquor license isn’t worth your patronage.

What is it with parents? My parents never would have reacted this way to something like that. Also, I generally feel that it would be more of a pain in the ass to take your kids places to eat (once they are ~8 months old to about ~6) than it is to get take out or cook something quick at home. Trying to make sure they…

There’s a big difference between loud adult conversations and the loud high-pitched shrieks, squeals, and screams of children.

A few years ago my local theatre was showing Ghostbusters, I went with someone super excited.

Sam is also not allowed in after 5pm due to being a giant baby.

Hi! Parent here.

I was at a movie theatre on Christmas day where a parent was raging that her six year old wasn’t allowed in the 19+ (and liquor licensed) area of the theatre...screaming at this poor teenager who was refusing to let the kid in...and, honestly, every parent is delusional about their kids (one presumes a genetic thing…

Dear Salty,

Dear Salty,

Yeah, here’s what happens when you allow kids at your place. “Where are the high-chairs? What do you mean there’s no kid’s menu with chicken nuggets and grilled cheese? Where are the crayons and other crap to keep my kid busy while I eat? What do you mean, you can’t make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?!? This…

Dear Salty,
My dumb baby doesn’t have any money and can’t drink, but I’d really like to take it to a beer bar. They said no, but I think I’m special.  How do I make them let me do what I want? 

Well, well... mummy and dada want their favorite beers at the gastropub and they want to bring their squirming sack of germs and bodily fluids with them. By God, this is AMERICA and they have every right to drive home drunk with that infant after tormenting good citizens of the big city who, inexplicably, don’t love…

Sorry dude, I raised a lil’ Nugget and I knew I as giving up certain things and places and that those would lesses and my nugget got older.  I don’t get where parents today think they can somehow live as they did pre-baby or even pre marriage/30's/etc.  

This dude thinks he gave birth to a baby & and restaurant, when neither happened, and has misconstrued the value of both.

Guess a movie doesn’t begin at conception either.