Upon receiving notice that Michael Sam beat up his boyfriend, he was subsequently re-instated and appointed team captain.

The sad thing is, Michael Sam has NOT been able to be a distraction from day-to-day NFL dysfunction.

Looks like somebody made a M18TAKE.

Come on, Jon, this isn't all that remarkable— show me a teenage boy who wouldn't do anything just to have a chance to finish.

Colin Cowherd is a flaccid penis shaft

Look, as someone from Boston with a ton of hockey friends, I can comfortably say that they're all racists.

"They made what I'm assuming is a pretty factual statement."

Yes. I'm freaking out that Marshawn Lynch isn't getting more carries because I care about the STORYLINE of my fantasy football team.

How to Talk to Stock Photographers About Sports

The misogyny, while dumb, isn't even the worst part of these photos. The bros watching the games with baseball gloves on and shit are an affront to humanity as a whole.

That's one way of helping him dry out.

This led to an embarrassing situation where the local newspaper ran a photo of Subban's game-worn underwear with the caption "dark in the middle".

Fitzpatrick: I'm not a man of many words! I hate pleonasm, despise verbosity, and detest loquaciousness! I'm not going to practice circumlocution here, fellows, nor try to pass off some periphrasis as hortatory rhetoric! No! All the vainglory and speechifying—I'll leave that to others! What I want to say is LET'S GET…

Wow, they nailed Zygi Wilf.

When you get down to it, it is kind of strange that we get together and pretend to collect teams of employees, and award them imaginary points for things they do at their jobs, just because they work in football.

Ray Rice gets two weeks (initially).

Ragging on the Pittsburgh Pirates celebrating a playoff berth is like ragging on a paraplegic war veteran for celebrating taking his first steps with his new prosthesis. "Chill, dude—it's not like you're RUNNING."

I just don't understand why he doesn't put on the ring and walk out of prison, since it makes him invisible.

Believe me, there are many, many comments in the gray that I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. But my general position—and I don't necessarily mean this negatively—is that 99% of readers have no idea how journalism/sourcing/aggregation/media economics and all the rest work. So when there are comments that look to…

This is a noble effort, Kevin, but I might suggest that an easier option is "ignore worthless comment from burner and keep it in the gray."