A week ago I honestly would have laughed you off and thought how quaint! A liberal Alex Jones.

Soft hands. They’re soft hands. That’s the meanest way to call someone weak and cowardly without resorting to calling them a pussies

I would bang Jared Kushner. But Putin? No. And even me admitting I would bang Kushner is out of the realm of acceptable.

I think you’re internalizing some insecurities on yourself by assuming they think “lazy fattie.” And I also think you’re doing the same kind of erasure you are feeling by assuming the people sitting are all jerks who aren’t being sensitive to your invisible illness. That’s the thing about invisible illnesses. People…

Oh, you better be fucking thankful for your boring tarte lip thing. I had literally the same box except for one liquid liner. If you’re thinking “what’s so bad about a liquid liner?!”

This isn’t a judgement or a thinly veiled “well, this is how I live my life so you should live like me.” I’m just telling you what I’m going through and maybe it absolves you. Maybe it doesn’t. Hopefully it helps someone.

During the joint sessions address all I could think was omg she’s an fsb agent! This makes sense! I don’t love the idea of this homeland plot being our real life but cmon. That hardened knowing smile? I’ve never been more intrigued of anyone than this high ranking fsb agent who will get her man in the end!

I don’t have any facts or figures as to why I feel this way. This is just a feeling I get.

Finding a real friend is 70% hating the same things. 2% is sharing secrets that the other one would find delicious. You needle point? So does my grandma. I learned it from her. I don’t do it anymore but I did at one point. There was a regional beta club convention that I went on in middle school. I signed up for the…

I’m just glad you agree with me. It’s nice when you find someone else who hates the same things. And I at least have faith Kit Deluca would finish a semester. I don’t have faith in Kylie’s work ethic to finish a week.

Donald, has twitter started to bore you? I appreciate you using such an old timey and not the creepiest term “stem” to say she was a leggy model once. Or does she have have a homewear line that makes stemwear? Because ya girl isn’t in STEM

I didn’t know who was telling the Kardashians and Hadids to wear those stupid duster jackets in clearly 80 degree weather but now we know it was Monica Rose! Rachel Zoe sounds like a nightmare to work with because she basically was the patient zero of all the starlets of the early aughts getting eating disorder thin.…

I know nothing about her and I think the “social media style” looks like a shitty early 90's strip club style.

Oh, kismet. I have very fine but very Jewish curls. In my favor, the curls comply with only a hairdryer if my hair is a couple inches below my shoulder. But I do appreciate that I found the person considering chopping off their hair and my “but what about the gross tiny hairs!” landed

Daddy’s checks clear just like checks you get for working.

I went to college in the armpit of the south. My hair grows like two inches a month and I am not complaining. One May I just finished my last final and I said hell yeah! Chop your down the middle of your back hair into a bob! You’re a grown up now! I would take a shower, dry my hair because you have to to look decent,…

I need you to consider what I’m about to say as the absolute and final binding ruling. And if you go against it I get to sign up your regular email and junk email to the trump mailing list.

I’m replying to you because you seem more likely to star this than the question asker.

When I saw the announcement I immediately thought Wimbeldon is the first week of July. How pregnant would that make her? Then I googled “how many weeks full term pregnancy?” because I couldn’t remember if it was 37 weeks or 47 weeks. My math was probably wrong but she was clocking in at 30 weeks and I think that’s…

Huh. He uses the term “found” the same way I use “liberated.” But I don’t steal peoples artwork and turn a profit for myself. I will liberate some extra ketchup packets. Maybe a glass if the service is that bad at a bar. I’m oddly more comfortable stealing a glass as a way to feel better about bad service than I am…