Yeah, you can buy fake social security numbers. But you have to be nefarious as fuck to have a guy that is just like “yeah yeah, cool. Here’s a social that generally matches your 5 year old.”

Ouch! The bleeding and the fact you have to get a shot.

If you got mirena and you’re having an extended period, check in with your doctor. I had that issue and I had to do 10 days of estrogen but no period since

I read it in 7th or 8th grade because my literature class was a joke so I just read the entire time. As an adult I have more nuanced views on the story. I still have the same question. You have an abudcted child. How do you enroll them in school. If for some reason I got lunch from the school line, I had to enter the…

I can’t wait to see the “my sophomore year at vassar I took this amazing women’s studies class that specifically addressed intersectional feminism and as a white lady I learned so much and I think a lot of white women would benefit from educating themselves like I did.” comments that are coming your way

Because tinkle.

Coal. Black is too on the nose plus the joke “just like their hearts” is too easy. Brown scare is already happening with immigration. Maybe we could get funky and do the rouge part deux: electric boogaloo

I imagine John Kerry as the kinda dude who keeps it his pocket those mystery strawberry hard candies you can only buy as an elderly grandpa. He offers you you and every time you’re like “what? This is the best goof! You’re not nearly old enough to pull this kind of stuff!” He probably does the “what’s that behind your…

My dryer died and I thought “hm I should go buy another one immediately” and the only thing that stopped me was the bad road conditions  

Your pediatrician sees all the babies 5 days a week. You’re a great mom but you’re too close to the crying.

You said ritz first which means I can do it. I hate crackers with seeds. I am not a bird. I do not need seeds with my cracker

No newfie but I do have a dog. You really just upgraded my experience this weekend. Any cracker suggestions?

Oh, shit! I was just thinking thinking what do I want to get at the grocery store in case of bad weather. Now we know.

They’re the same people who loudly reply “and a merry CHRISTMAS to you” when a cashier wishes them happy holidays. Or they reply “and god bless you” when someone says bless you when they sneeze.

I’m normal person who doesn’t really look too much at other people in bathrooms because we’re all in there to do things girls supposedly don’t do. But this past summer like a month after the NC bathroom bill came out I was in line to tinkle after a movie when some stupid headed lady decided to bully a young trans lady…

You’re growing a life right now.

I remember being a nerd in the popular circle feeling obligated to circle on that I drank some in high school. I worried about getting home because uber wasn’t a thing yet. My boyfriend knew I didn’t drink. He would surprise me with gingerale sometimes just so I would make a face like what is this nonsense.

My grandpa died a month to the day after my grandma died. I know most people don’t believe in dying of a broken heart but I do now. If you’re on the ropes already, grief and or losing the will to keep going is a real thing.

I don’t know what the beef is but the saltiness makes me pro whatever is going on

It’s 7 pm. And my dog doesn’t understand time haha