They always know. I’m gonna wrap a giant box in a minute

Haha when I checked out the cashier simply asked “so what breed is your dog?”

My dog is gonna get wild tomorrow.

I still feel like the literal worst person for pepperspaying a dog. Like the dog is a jerk but doing that still feels wrong.

I’m going to admit this here because I don’t think it can get traced back to me in real life hopefully.

They have all the problems. I’m sure you’re going to get a lot of replies where people say there are “ethical breeders” and that’s code for theres a lot of bullshit.

Aw. How sad for her. She’s an educated white lady from a privilaged and liberal family which means she’s always had access to sex ed and birth control.

Okay. That’s fine. But why did you feel the need to share that with the class?

Losing a child is rough. Like too rough for most. Pregnancy is so fraught with judgement and rules and unsolicited advice. Women become public property when pregnant. Are you implying a new condition to pregnancy is don’t you dare enjoy it or be pregnant outside of your home?

If it’s coming up so often, therapy.

Here’s a thought: let them enjoy the pregnancy. You got dealt a bad hand and you’re allowed to feel all your feelings about your bad hand. But your sorrow shouldn’t dampen their joy.

I dunno...if I was an alien traveling to my mother in law’s house four light years away I wouldn’t our human trash just seem like roadkill? You see it and you get sad then spend the next 2 miles just repeating over and over in your brain “it’s just nature don’t think about it” over and over.

Haha I sadly report in that it’s not weird to name your car nor is it unusual to name it Annie. Also Smooth Criminal usually factors in.

I find the complete opposite reaction when I actually do suck a dick. In general dudes reactions to blowies tends to be a cross between Sally Field winning an Oscar and finding $20 in your coat pocket

I am so into Christmas this year that I updated my gas logs.

You moved away from home for a job. It was extremely stressful but it sounds like you did it for the benefit of your family. You arrive home during the most motherfucking magical and family oriented time of year only to find out he had an affair. With a 20 year old employee. And it’s not because he enjoys extorting a…

I bet the property prices are a steal there! Or really jacked up on the Isle of Miscreant Toads.

My brother wrecked his camaro so my dad traded cars with him for awhile. He came to pick me up from college on a Saturday wearing stereotypical college professor down to a tweed blazer with elbow patches. My response was obvious what gives, Dad? This isn’t what midlife crisises usually look like.

The whole “she’s just a gold digging whore who is making up the abuse for a bigger divorce settlement” is stupid. There was that video and the weird mirror smeared with his blood photo. I think we can all agree that Amber Heard was experiencing violence and abuse on a fairly regular basis. I’m a complete stranger to…

I think donating to charity is great and $6.8 milli will do a lot of good.