That’ll cost you $66. And considering that I have at least 8-10 good zingy replies, it’s just so affordable! And in your New York downtown neighborhood has conditioned you to be used to paying for convenience.

You know you can just walk away from this, right? You don’t even have admit you were wrong. You can just just stop replying. You’re halfway to China at this point. You can stop digging now.

Then what is a tart? Is it a fruit salad atop a bed of a sweet crouton?

You KNOW they have Waldorf salad and Weinerface goes to town on it.

White person checking in to confirm white people fucking love their greens but that could be because I am from the south.

Hahahahaha! I’m truly looking forward to watching this unfold. Collard greens is the type of dish that can create a blood feud between you and your mother in law. That’s just if you say yours are better. If you roll up into her house on New Years Day with a Pyrex of own fancy organic twist, you may lose a limb.

Isn’t Shiloh the one that was rumored to be transitioning and is now called John? That rumor has always squicked me out because she was 6 and liked playing with fake swords and now bingo blamo there’s her narrative in the tabloids

Here’s what I’m telling myself. A week ago there was that that the polls had Clinton up so seemingly locked up that low voter turnout could be a problem for her because people would think it was already in the bag. This could be helpful because it gets voters out.

Hillary ain’t here to make friends and she is here for the right reasons.

Now now, dear. Let’s let cooler heads prevail. He is the director of the FBI. That’s got to entitle him to some dick sucking if being famous for being awful entitles trump to grabbing ladies parts. There have to be some perks to the job other than being able to win a feud

You know how if you have 2 gallons left of gas in your tank your idiot light comes on to tell you you need to get your shit together and stop running on empty? The FBI is the idiot light in this case. It’ll save your ass and it’ll be there for you in the future but get it to-fucking-gether already.

I need you to grab a glass of water before reading this. Either for spittakes or to help you stop choking.

Ooh! This could be fun!

A month ago I would have agreed with you about loving Bitch Sesh. Earlier today I made a decision that they have one more episode before I unsubscribe. Casey’s weird spiritual journey plus her always discussing her dental issues and her weight “troubles” and no self awareness to realize she sounds like an admitted…

You are missing out on some grade a drama with the OC. Kelly was on Watch What Happens Live last night and a caller basically called out Kelly with cheating scandal info provided by Tamra. The caller yelled “welcome to the thunderdome!” Which is odd...

If I had to choose between being excluded and becoming the defacto babysitter at the party, i’ll take exclusion every time. I’m pretty good with kids and they like my jokes so kids will want to play with me and both mom and dad are getting to socialize so hells yeah the kids happy, they’re happy. And I’m miserable.…

I believe you but you can’t just wet our collective whistles like that and not expand on the Lea stuff.

Toot. Auto correct has an issue with me saying toot. Because I’m a woman. And we don’t toot

You’re closing in on the best election season reaction. The holy grail is to laugh so hard that you root and the dog looks confused and betrayed by its body because it’s pretty sure it didn’t toot but who knows

Someone referred to her the other day as “your unemployed friend who won’t buy her own drinks but insists she should be invited to every happy hour at your treat.” And I thought yup! Please don’t write my obituary but write the obituaries of my enemies.