IvakaBot v6.5 has a few known bugs in the language module, introduced during an attempted upgrade (the Word-A-Day calendar plan failed spectacularly without the support of a good Syntax circuit). The release notes for this point-version sounded particularly sheepish.

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the…

TRUTH, right here.

It’s like a distillation of toxic masculinity. If only the recoil from firing could have given someone a black eye, it’d have been an art film.

There’s a hint of blue smoke to signify a boy, but it’s quickly overpowered by fire and dust and earth and shrapnel and various other scary shit flying through the air.

I’m a landscaper. I need to use power equipment, ladders, fertilizer, chemicals, touch dirt, lift about 50lbs on a regular basis. I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant and as I’m self employed and this is my job I will be working full time until I’m 8 months then part time through the baby’s first 8 weeks. All of that has a…

Say what you want about the American First Lady, but sometimes I really feel for her. Once I even asked myself, ‘Is Melania the most bullied person in the world?’

I HAD THE SAME MINDSET!!!!!!!!!

Is it an attempt to appear to be a thinking person who want to be perceived as looking at all the information, weighing the options, blah blah blah, when in fact they know they’re just going to vote GOP again? Because that’s what it seems like to me. It’s that feeling I get when someone says they’re an “independent”…

Well, the White House isn’t going to turn itself into a sterile minimalist postmodern art installation. Without Melania there, who will make sure they play classic Christmas carols like Nico’s “Frozen Warnings”?

Wide shot. Every. Single. Woman.

I wonder if it’s more that they assume that because they tolerated their assaults, they resent other survivors for speaking up. Violence is the norm, and women should accept it in order to keep men in power. I assume that’s what these complicit survivors think, however sick it is.

I’m now seeing some pro-Trump/conservative women on Twitter saying “I was raped/molested” as a means of somehow legitimizing their attacks on Kavanaugh’s accusers.

“You said you were a virgin.”

Bear with me now - “Suzanne” is a song by Weezer, who are currently at heretofore unseen heights of popularity thanks to their cover of a song that was released in May 1982.  THIS IS ALL FUCKING CONNECTED, MAN.

Trump has the Midas derp.

Oh God...  There was never any chance since he was elected that we weren’t going to end up seeing a picture of his actual penis, was there?  Nope, no peeps, t’was fate undeniable as death and gravity, ‘pon the selection of candidate most crude and foul, t’would be our fate to see his mushroom pal.  :(  FUCK!

Micromanaging employees’ footwear is exactly the kinds of hands-off approach I’ve come to expect from the party that routinely touts itself as being for “small government”.

Black drug dealers reading that Demi Lovato story like:

It’s extra stupid to show Trump in his school uniform when it just highlights how he lied about his health to avoid actual military service. Although I assume the point is to pretend he served rather then just went to high school.