Yum, I is jealous! I love chicken and dumplings. Tonight, I made a big pot of minestrone, and served it with parmesan and homemade pesto. OMG so good.

I read it this morning. It was so spot on. I cried, too.

Okay, I recently saw the "Friends" episode where Joey explains smell-the-fart acting, and that is exactly what Justin Timberlake is doing in that photo.

"Chelsea Handler's New Sitcom Looks Bad"

Halloween costume contest for my dog. The fun never ends ...

It joins a long line of sexy holiday shoots, including but not limited to: Sexy Arbor Day Tree photo shoot, Sexy Thanksgiving Turkey photo shoot and Sexy Grandparents Day photo shoot.

I was laid off this week. It's been a really, really rough week.

Obviously not a very successful comedian ... the "jokes" aren't even funny or original, even after you manage to ignore the racist bits. (Which is difficult.) That being said, I do find his apology sincere. Stupid, racist people who are obviously sorry that they are stupid and racist don't bother me. I mean, they're…

My dog is a clown! We found the costume at PetSmart, and I glued a bunch of pompoms to a birthday hat.

I hope someone informs parents and guardians.

No. Just, no. I would take his hand and introduce him to Target.

I really don't know anything about babies, particularly newborns, but I would think the first few months of any baby but particularly your first are just ripe for depression. I don't think anyone or anything can truly prepare you for the utter thanklessness of the job. Again, I don't have this experience and I'm…

Angel Soft. The ideal balance of softness and strength. (Also, it's the best cheap TP out there.)

Haha, Charles likes Tetley but will settle for Luzianne.

The best part about your dog is that she would require kids to get outside and be active. "How many poops can we get on this hike?" Again, the children really can't lose.

Maggie Gallagher was a single mom. Add that feather to your cap.

Are you saying Maggie Gallagher's awful style fate could have been avoided if she had a Sassy Gay Friend?

Hey girl, I've got a run in my tights. I'mma get in yours, if you know what I mean.

I don't see this as a declaration of love or even a crush. They went through a horrific experience together, and they can help each other grasp their new situation. On one hand, I feel like I would want to put everything behind me, but on the other hand, I can understand why they would want to see and speak with each…

If they really want a dog, I've got a schnauzer who will go three, four times a day, especially if we're at my mom's house because apparently he's in some pooping contest with her dogs. And he has outrageously loud farts. Everybody wins!