I’d guess local news is normally happy to roll over, especially if not doing so might hurt their relationship with important subjects. But apparently his handler didn’t realize that now that he’s resigned as president, Ken Starr is not important, and it’s in Baylor’s interest to shift blame to the people who have…

Obviously. Spreadsheets detailing the comings and goings, grainy black and white shots of them from behind bushes. Cell phone records and bank statements.

What, you don’t keep folders?!?

I mean I don’t keep it my PI does, I just have access to it.

Bobby, don’t you dare apologize for the “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” joke, that was A-grade.

Bravo to KWTX!

Sometimes getting to the good bits can cut off your air supply, depending on the vagina having person.

...umm it’s a little different tbh.

Time for Google.

Anatomies differ. Sometimes there’s more pillowiness. That’s as far as I’m going. I’m already blushing.

Go down on a woman sitting in a bowl of green jello?

First song post breakup:

Seriously.

Besides the horrendous nature of this story, that was also my takeaway.

Right? I came here to say this. Suddenly, the cops remember they have non-gun options, even when dealing with a coked-out guy with a fucking rifle. Seriously, tell me again how big Michael Brown was and how impossible it was to subdue him without multiple gunshots.

An armed white guy.

Funny how when a white guy tries to escape police custody he’s subdued with pepper spray and a taser instead of being shot and killed.

Can I get a hug???

Easy there, Lovey, easy. Everyone loves an easy internet fix to complex issues.

Ummm obvs you do if this is part of senior culture...