The Astros will quietly say “the punishment will be handled internally and we have no more comment on the matter” in the middle of the offseason and that will be the end of it until this dude becomes GM of the Mets or some shit and has a teary press conference about learning from his mistakes, how he’s a proud father…

Re: Drinking in front of your kids.

“He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster.

I think Sprint has the worst commercials.

Oh God. And now I can’t unsee Sarah Palin.

Darnold: Shh! Listen! I can hear the ghosts now too.

My daughter came home from school around the 3rd grade and pronounced me a drug addict because I drank beer.  That’s what they told her in class.  My wife said I was no longer allowed to drink in front of her.  I told them both to go jump in a lake.

Anytime I see Orlovsky telling us what QBs should or shouldn’t do, I can’t help but remember the time HE RAN OUT THE BACK OF HIS OWN GODDAMNED ENDZONE!

Also, Jack Evans once called him to berate him for writing that Nationals Park was being built with public funds; the dumbass argument Evans made repeatedly during his phone tirade was that all the money used to build the stadium, a tab that eventually hit about $1 billion, would come from new taxes implemented…

Brady’s case is exacerbated by the fact that he got genuinely fucked over by the NFL for deflating footballs.

People need to get over the idea that rooting for a team is some kind of morality play. All owners are rich douchebags*, most GMs are heartless pricks who would trade their mother for a 5th round draft pick, most coaches are control freak assholes, and most players are guys who have been catered to their entire lives…

You think that’s bad, Adam Gates lied to us and said Darnold was starting for the Jets and not the Pats.

And suddenly Brett Kavanaugh is conflicted over who to root for. 

It is true that German and Chapman are guilty of some form of domestic abuse. Do you think there is a team without an abuser on it? Maybe, but I find it unlikely. I also don’t know why you’re dragging Gardner’s name through the mud without any evidence. Just because he’s white and from the South doesn’t mean he’s a…

I just want to read one article without having to mute “Hey Lauren, I like your top.” If I wanted to watch Kinja video content, I’d unmute the video, or click on the original links (the Punjabi-Canadian hockey story was excellent video journalism just btw). Auto-play audio is fucking annoying, no matter what site is…

“You know, this never would have happened if women reporters weren’t allowed in the clubhouse.”

The Redskins have a history and heritage to maintain. Racist name that was unacceptable even 50 years ago? You bet. Objectionable fans who embody the worst of us? In spades. A field that resembles the litter box of a diabetic cat? Forever and always.

More serious question: how is Snyder allowed to own an NFL team?

“It takes you back to being a kid: You’re out there, you’re sloshing around and your shoes are full of water and mud,” Richard Sherman said. “It’s still a kid’s game at the end of the day.”