Police take victims seriously. Police take diligent notes and follow-up on leads. Police test most rape kits.

Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.

“This looks really bad...but we know he can masturbate to completion,” argued Patriots owner Bobby Two-Strokes*. “Surely, I can still find something for him to do.”

Minor League baseball is one of the best things going in this country, and anyone who wants to take that away can go fuck off to the Soviet Union or something.

The AZ Fall League is kicking off out here.

3. One need not perform sophisticated analysis to see that, both for the health of the broader sport of baseball and for the specific individual big-league clubs, it is in fact good for there to be lots of easy, affordable, family-friendly ways for people to consume the sport in person and form rooting attachments to…

I recently moved from a small city with a popular minor-league baseball team to an even smaller city without one, and in all the things I calculated about making the decision to move, I didn’t realize how much I’d miss the simple pleasure of getting off of work, saying “fuck it, I’m not doing anything else with the…

I don’t like to whine about analytics but I think there’s some dishonesty about what purpose analytics and the whole “Moneyball” ethos really serves. Analytics guys pretend it’s about finding the “best” way to win, and really it’s about finding the most “efficient” way to win. Like, you read Moneyball and see the…

Ideally we can get rid of the major league games too. Just analyze the swings of each team’s hitters, the spin rate of each team’s pitchers, and declare a champion.

Two thoughts competing in my head:

Old guys have been saying analytics will kill baseball, and I think even they would agree they were talking metaphorically. This dude is literally advocating for less baseball games because analytics don’t even need games to get the numbers. So I guess all the old guys yelling at clouds were kinda right?  This asshole…

best cheap beer: Corona

Cats for everyone, sorry bud

Cats for everyone, sorry bud

Gareon, my Raidered son
You’ll be kneed when you are down
Lay your weary head to rest
You’re going on I.R.

I believe the thinking goes that when you spill gumbo on them, it only shows on half of it.

I don’t think they’re going to Vegas in a “down on my luck, nothing left to lose” way. More in a “haven’t been relevant in 30 years so I guess I’ll do a residency at the MGM” way.

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

Do people really believe that they cut Antonio Brown here? I mean come on, I know they could but why would they? I’m positive they’d rather have a pissed off AB than no AB. I know Mayock and Gruden are dumb but I’d be shocked if they’re that dumb

TOTAL EXONERATION!

Collusion? Collusion!