Your logic is infallible - we hereby award you the Arizona Cardinals.

Speaking of people who have had rough times in Florida, they traded for Jason Pierre-Paul.

Didn’t get a chance to email in my feelings about my krewe, so here’s my take.

I wasn’t a big football fan in 1994 but I played a lot of Madden ‘94. My chief takeaway from that game, accurate or not, was that the Bucs were god-awful and it was a lot of fun to play as them while beating up on the computer, thus demonstrating my superior Madden skills.

I remember when I first saw Fitzpatrick in that outfit I couldn’t figure out why Connor McGregor was giving a press conference for the Bucs

I like how everyone is rattling off their bullshit regional chain restaurants. That’s against the rules, you don’t get to say the clearly better quality product holds up better than national stadium sponsoring size fast food fuckshacks.

I don’t like square cuts all that much either. It’s pizza for people who want to treat pizza like an hors d’oeuvre.

If I recall, my fellow Bengals fans have a really hard time comprehending the WYTS ethos.  Every year, some MAGA chud from Hamilton or Lebanon loses his shit at Magary for being so harsh on our beloved dumpster fire of an also-ran franchise.

Trout is also a great addition to any breakfast plate. 

Eggs Benedict with fresh salmon under the egg.

Unfortunately I work for a newspaper publishing company and one of our coverage areas is very close to Eden, NC. This morning they ruled out a gas leak and they’ve also said they do not suspect foul play. Which begs the question.... the fuck?

until the colonel removes the cheeto chicken sandwich, a restaurant will be destroyed every night. this i swear to you

A lady I work with thought Spaceballs *was* Star Wars. Like, for real. She didn’t know there was an actual, non-comedy/spoof of it. She was well into her 30s before she realized Barf, Dot, Yogurt and the rest were a parody of another film series known collectively as Star Wars.

True story: I was once deposed in a lawsuit and was warned by my attorney that the plaintiff’s attorney was a huge asshole, so be ready. This was not an exaggeration. The guy was a caricature of what you see on TV. Later, while deposing a nurse about the same case, he got upset with her and literally threw his pen at…

Here is everything I know about paying property taxes in Cook County

You skipped the best part. Rickett’s wife (formerly of JPMorgan Chase) is an anti-tax activist who complained about a property tax increase!

OK, if you file all the permits and plans with the county and they fail to notice that your home has increased in value, that’s on them. That’s the sort of thing EVERYONE gets away with, not just the ultra-rich.

The President of the United Sta—-

Goddamn it -- if you can't trust the filthy rich and their attorneys, who the hell can you trust?