Someone get a cinderblock.

I had a wasp steal my hamburger from me when I was a wee little child and I’ve never been the same or forgiven the species as a whole. Bastards.

Couldn’t she go study French in Switzerland for 6 months? That’s how the real cognoscenti used to handle this sort of situation. Take it from Lady Edith (and little Marigold):

I wish Jezebel had a subpage/site dedicated to mothers and soon to be mothers. Beauty and marriage both have one!

That man throws more shade with a smile and a laugh than the whole fucking redwood forest.

He is definitely in a zero fucks to give state right now and it is glorious.

I have nothing to add except I’m here for “not in my house” Obama. He bout to make all your white friends expose that inner racism over the next year.

I am so pleased you have finally given some airtime to our President, whose mastery of shade is as impressive as his mastery of the constitution. I would like to formally request an all-Obama session as he nears the end of his tenure. (Note I am assuming there will continue to be so much misuse of the word that the…

By “offshore,” I presume you mean some arbitrary point in the ocean, at least 100 miles from the coast? I’d be fine with that.

I actually had a Yoko tweet in here but then I lost my draft and forgot about.

Currently speaking for that fan base - will watch.

You said the name! Now all will perish!

With her finger?! Like some zoophilic lesbian? Ew! Ew! Ewww!!!! Clearly, you don’t understand this woman has principles.

yay for Alison Brie

Um...unless teddy bears have their vaginas where the rest of us have our mons pubis, this lady is working real hard to create a problem here.

But you hope to every day from here on out

I’m guessing you like a lot of caramel in your frappuccino.

Why should your friends have to wait for you to finish before getting their drinks or desserts? You and the writer of the WaPo piece have a serious case of Special Snowflake Syndrome. Also, servers are not your servants, no matter how much you want to argue semantics. If you treat them as such, you deserve whatever…