This is how we roll, with no shame.

I love my cat overlord.

Sure, she's a hero but I run one little motel with my mother's old corpse and I'm the weirdo.

Ina's ok, but my queen is Isa.

Jesus! How about a NSFW warning, maybe??? What if my boss had walked by while all those bare knees were on the screen?!

My big dog (a Rottweiler/Black Lab mix) loves to wait until I have turned the lights off to run and flop in front of my path- I think she thinks it's funny that I go bum over teakettle nearly every night. Either that or she is trying to teach me how to cartwheel and I am a really slow learner.

I don't really understand kosher food. Like, I know I wouldn't be able to order bacon, but I didn't know about this meat/cheese thing. But if I go to a restaurant, you know what I do? I order something that's on the menu. If I ask to sub something and they can't, I say "oh? Well okay" and then I give them legal tender…

I'm so glad the baby punting story ended with the parents apologizing.

I just have to admire both the perseverance and courage of Emma and her boyfriend. I don't know if I could have waited that long for McDonald's, nor do I know if I would have had the bravery to eat something prepared by someone so clearly on another plane of existence.

When I was suddenly given a cancer diagnosis, we were stunned. But, I later found out from my mother that he called and told her that she didn't need to worry. He was not ever leaving me and that he would take care of her only child no matter what.

*muffled shouting from kitchen*

Once a customer ordered a cafe au lait from me. I was very tired. I wrote "cafe olé" and figured I'd ask my coworker how to make that. I realized my mistake before having to ask someone, but not before the customer saw my spelling and snickered.

Got into an argument last week because my husband put mayo in the mashed potatoes he made for us and he didn't say anything until after I'd eaten it.

Pork Wine. The OTHER white wine.

The slow service one reminded me of this sketch: