"Working at home with Google" is an excellent female masturbation euphemism. Well done!

That's what I was thinking! I've been waiting all this time to hear about the size of Mark's testicles!

Standing on them makes a fuckload more sense than eating them.

Hey all you Carol/Daryl shipping doubters! You know that part where Daryl is a perfect gentleman to Carol and kills the mom/child walkers that were entombed in the temporary housing for victims of domestic violence? THIS IS WHERE YOU CONCEDE DEFEAT AND LET IT HAPPEN. THEY'RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL…

Nah bro. It just amazes me that you pretended not to be a complete trainwreck for long enough to get yourself the big ok.

She should have been deported, too. Birthright citizenship is national suicide.

I can't remember who said it, but someone pointed out that one of the many reasons sex with minors is illegal is even if they act like 'nascent Sharon Stones', they don't have the slightest idea what it means.

Eww. Just eww. As a JHS teacher, allow me to be very clear: if a student shows any kind of inappropriate interest (and sometimes they do), YOU BE THE ADULT. You tell them it is not appropriate. You arrange for the two of you to never be alone in the same space. You let your department head/supervisor/administrators…

Murder is used for humans because it separates taking the life of an unwilling victim from the act of violence that it is. We use language like that all the time. Like using the word meat, instead of dead animal. Just because we have created language that allows us to divorce ourselves from actions, doesn't mean…

Why don't people think this is true of humans? I want to die by euthanasia, and I have no problem telling people about it. I have had this thought since I was about 15, which was bloody controversial then and landed me in two therapy sessions before the shrink was eventually like, "Hey, this kid's got a point."

When I was in Europe, selling monogrammed thermoses, THEY would cook my steaks for me until it was tender, no matter how long it took. Americans are so lazy sometimes.

Bad idea. Their menstruation will attract bears, and bears never improve traffic conditions.

I love it all as a piece. It just works.

For what it's worth, I cured my cystic acne by drinking lots of water, eating lots of fruit and vegetables (also known as ending my shitty college days diet), and using alpha-hydroxy acids in peels and moisturizers. Took about 8 months.

She's very talented, but I think the ballads suit her better, because she can really get into the impressions.

I had two avocados on my window sill, ready for toast, and I was a day too late. To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. Sadly, the time for those avocados was yesterday. *cries*

I miss him immensely. The world is less without Rik Mayall.

Even though the name is different i'd bet it's still this guy. There was a documentary film about it back in the 90's

I had so little imagination as a child that my imaginary friend was just my best friend, only imaginary. That way I could keep playing with her after she went home. It is kind of a miracle that I didn't grow up to get peeled out of someone's chimney by a fireman.