There are probably enough candy rolls for their own list. Shock Tarts are #1 for about five seconds, after which they burn holes in my mouth and fall to last place.

I was doing it when I was so little, I didn't realize what I was doing. Apparently I called it "exercising." Humping the coffee table table may not burn many calories but it was fun!

Brainwash is amazing. You can do your laundry, have a drink, AND watch terrible amateur standup.

And Maya Rudolph's dad is the one playing guitar in the video! I remember an old SNL for Mother's Day where the cast at the same all got a little moment with their mom during the show. He came on with Maya and they talked about Minnie Riperton and freaking SNL made me cry.

It's the only Sorkin show I ever got into. It's just the right amount of Sorkininess. If I even think about Isaac coming back in that one episode, I will cry. WATCH ME. Also, this forever:

Dan Rydell, I miss you so much. Casey McCall too.

I feel retroactively apologetic to all the good servers at the restaurant in my hometown my drama club friends would frequent.

Parker Posey once opened a door for me at a bookstore. I win for most mundane celebrity encounter!

We kind of laughed when we got them because we thought they were a joke. They were not.

I had to wear one as a bridesmaid in a wedding and we only found out about them the day before. Nightmares still.

I actually like seeing my friends' baby pictures in my Facebook feed but they're not really doing anything that would land them on STFUParents.

He's responsible for one of my all-time best "I'm having a bad day and need instant happy" clips.

He's raring to go.

I liked Baby Mama more the second time. The performances were funny but I didn't find the writing all that impressive. Like if Katherine Heigl and Kate Hudson were in it instead, it would have probably been total crap. Paula Pell is writing this one so I am pretty excited.

Glad they were able to take advantage of City Hall being purple-lit for Domestic Violence Awareness month to highlight something important.

My first celebrity sex dream was with David Duchovny. I blame dream me for the sex addiction.

One time at the restaurant I worked in during high school, a woman dined and dashed but left a bag of bagels on her table. I would have been into the bartering system had she left cream cheese.

Every so often she'll shut down a pompous, entitled millionaire with a very simple, direct finesse that I respect, but the rest of the time, she is the absolute worst.