That is when you let your boyfriend know that being a member of a marginalized group doesn't excuse them from despicable acts. Sure, possibly, if given the opportunity, it would be best when confronting a minority male about street harassment to couch it in historical context. To remind them that not that long ago, it…

No problem. Good on your boyfriend because he does have a point to some extent. There are definitely a lot of newly-arrived residents (read: White women) in my Brooklyn neighborhood who I see visibly freaking out any time a Black man says anything to them on the street and we all know what that's about. Those dynamics…

I won't lie, I give the brothers a bit more of a pass. For one thing there are cultural differences in the way they "holler" and for another yeah...they get emasculated in so many other ways in this society that I don't mind letting them sometimes have that moment to puff their chests out and get a little swag on so…

I love your user name.

Your hypothesis is my reality. The overwhelming majority of men that have harassed me are Black men (I'm Black). I've noted men who ignored sexier women to yell at me.

My fiancé and I actually got in a similar argument over the 'For Ladies' Drink Menu post. He argued that as a privileged white woman that I have no right to march in there and tell them how sexist they're being because the restaurant and the community it is a part of aren't exactly a demographic typically schooled in…

I mean, I haven't watched all of her videos, but from what I've seen, she's not being particularly harsh. It's not like she's screaming at them and cursing them out or anything; their faces aren't shown, and she's asking them "Why do you think this is okay? Are you aware that women don't like this?" I actually think…

Exactly. If what he is saying is true, then Paula Deen shouldn't have been called out for her racism, because she's a woman, and therefore marginalized. What? That makes no sense? Interesting.

The thing is, your boyfriend is sort of on to something—but it doesn't make it okay. I've read a couple of theories that catcalling is more widespread in minority communities perhaps because it's an expression of dominance and power that is ~allowed~. So, basically, because they feel powerless in society in general,…

Well, maybe confronting street harassment isn't about being an effective cog in society but affirming that you have the right to exist without be hassled or constantly viewed as a sex object. When I talk back to street harassment it's not about them- it's about me and what I want in my daily excursion into the world.

Usually, no, not unless I'm with someone. I've had several incidents (mugged once, locked out of my building another time) where White neighbors and refused to help me or saw me as a potential threat. Yep, after being mugged, two White men were afraid of a 19 year old girl. So no, I'm not going to put myself in a…

I think the best response to him may be that understanding why people may act in an offensive way, and that it may be a reaction to inequalities, doesn't forgive the individual actors. Further, why is female silence in the face of this behavior a positive for anyone? Why should any one of us silence ourselves if we…

This complicates the issue, for sure. I sometimes feel like I'm being harassed, in part, because of my apparent privilege (as a nicely dressed white woman) by men who lack those privileges. I feel like they enjoy making me uncomfortable because they resent me. I'm walking to work; they're hanging out on the street.…

I mean, would your boyfriend agree it's okay for women to be homophobic because they experience sexism?

I've had this worry a few times. I recently snapped at a car full of men who catcalled me. They said they just wanted to talk, and I yelled, "just because I'm walking down the street doesn't mean you have a right to engage with me." and then I worried that they would misread the situation and think that my issue was…

I get where he's coming from, but there's so much to unpack with those guys that it's not fair to just dismiss them. Especially the guy who dabbled in some anti-black misogyny in order to compliment the videographer ("Oh your hair is so much better.")

She actually addresses this issue in the FAQ on her website:

There are different kids of privilege. Just because someone is marginalized in one way (racial, socioeconomic, etc.) does not mean they cannot contribute to the oppression of others (e.g. women). Calling these men out on their behaviour does not dismiss the oppression they face themselves.

One day I was sitting on the bus behind a girl with headphones on with a guy started calling her "Blondie," and just generally telling her how he'd like to get to know her. He wasn't particularly crude about it, but it was clear his attention was unwelcome. But he kept trying, and she kept replying in monosyllables…

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