So you are saying that I am peeing but most everyone else is actually squirting? Oh man, thats not fair!

That is a remarkably unattractive outfit and backpack.

Nah. That movie was gross, for sure, but nothing, not even this nasty pumpkin seed story, is as gross as The One that Mark posted. I don't want to say exactly which story I'm referring to because he might post a link to it, but it left many readers traumatized. Let's just say it involved an activity with a name that…

I've always loved this story. This is what gave me courage to manually ease discomfort when I'm constipated.

[SIC]

Every time I post a gross thing people are all "NOT AS GOOD AS THE PUMPKIN SEED STORY," so I got the greenlight to run it again to celebrate 2015!

If only there had been a good guy with a gun there to shoot that baby.

Jennifer. A responsible mom tells her young child she's just laughing her ass off over the toy because it looks like so much fun, then quietly removes the bizarre appendage from the packaging after said child is sound asleep on the floor. Responsible mom can then keep the doohickey to show her friends over cocktails…

I can't imagine Jennifer's kids even noticed until she brought the hysterics on.

I had my accountant set up a wire to transfer all available funds to you all based on the "mom" entry, then promptly smashed my phone and burned my house to the ground when I saw Biden on the list. I am now dead and posting this from an Apple II in hell.

New parents. Totally. When my son was even littler, I posted on a FB Mom's site and set up play dates where we identified each other by our strollers. I. Was. So. Lonely.

Or is the Dubai slave labor still ongoing?

So much this. I worry for these people.

I know I'm being that guy, but seriously how does Ed Sheeran not make this list? Ed Sheeran is the fucking thirstiest.

And it's not just Facebook. It's like… how many pairs of Uggs do you think I'm going to buy exactly?

THIRSTY

My favorite is when you comment on how you are happy with your vanilla sex life and they jump all over you insisting that you have a hidden kink and won't be completely satisfied until you find it. How bout you do you BDSMers?

my rich cousin is in one. i feel like asking her to donate the money so i could get a proper house to live in & i'd let her stay in a room so she'd actually fucking write.